Tuesday, October 18, 2011

To Approach, or Not To Approach....

A guy posted on Twitter one night that men should always approach women, and that the man should in fact approach the woman if he is interested in getting to know her. Now, I'm all in for what he was saying. I absolutely agree, but my thing is: what if there is a guy that the lady is interested in getting to know?

I have found myself in this situation several times before. I see a guy, or I am around a guy for a long period of time, I start liking him, but he never says anything about getting to know me! Argh! That is so frustrating!

I have sat back and waited on guys to approach me MANY times. As a matter of fact, I'm still doing it. I go to bars alone, (not just to meet guys, of course) and I sit there and eat, or drink, or whatever I went there for. Guys come in, and they razzle dazzle their eyes at me for a while, they eat, drink, pay their tab, then leave while giving me one last look, and even a wink before they go on out the door!!!

Yeah, they flirt, they wink their eye and try to give me the "Ok" in some kind of manner that they want me to come and talk to them, but ...mehhh. *sigh*. The only guys that actually approach me are young bucks, married men, guys looking for a quick romp in MY sheets, ex boyfriends that I don't even think about anymore, and Folks' grand daddies. This can't be life!
I'm a woman that likes to look "togetha" whenever I go out in public. You will never catch me outside looking raggedy, because, well, "You never know when you will run into Mr. Right", plus, it's a self respect thing. I am an upcoming author, plus, I have other goals, so what the fuck hell is the problem?

I have had this discussion before with certain guys, and the common reason that I get from these guys as to why men don't approach women that are "togetha" is because they are, and will never admit that they are intimidated by us.


So, wait a minute; they are actually saying that men DO NOT approach women that are self respecting and that have goals because they are INTIMIDATED! But wait a minute: I also hear a lot of men talking about how hard it is to find a good woman! (Sound familiar?) I see guys approaching NMF factor women ALL THE TIME! Soooo...they are approaching these women because they are NOT intimidated by them? Wait....am I really right? I'm confused....

There are many self respecting women out there that want a good man, but they are just sitting back and waiting for the right one to approach them. I'm all for the guy approaching first. My thing is that it's natural anyway, I don't care who disagrees. I am extremely old fashioned, and in my opinion, that's the way it is supposed to go. No man should ever want a woman that throws herself all over him. In no way, is that natural. In the Bible, the popular verse starts with, "He who finds himself a wife", not "She that finds herself a husband".

Another thing, it's obvious that a lot of guys wouldn't notice a good woman if she were to hit him in the head with a bat! A lot of the numb skulls wouldn't even feel the hit! SMH! Yeah I said it!

All in all: I absolutely think the dating game is on it's last leg. I try to keep from saying that it's dead because I am hanging on by a very thin thread. Things are nowhere near the way they used to be. Somebody shot chivalry in the back, and people don't even really know what "love" is anymore. Everything has changed and everybody is playing games with others' feelings and emotions. I have the "pleasure" of being around guys that only tell women what they know we want to hear, then when they get us all in, they start pulling away and acting an asshole fool. I don't have time for all that. I have done good by staying away from the dating scene.....well......because I haven't been approached in the right way anyway. Damn.


  1. Good post. Here's my take: to me, the problem is a lack of communication that's perpetuated in modern day dating scenarios now. Guys don't have the confidence they once did and some women don't have the tact they once had. Let me explain: my nephew approached a nice-looking lady at a bar in the ATL about two months ago. According to what he told me, he said, "Hi, my name is Trae, can I get you a drink?"

    Her reply was, "Do I look broke? Do you think I come to bars and pray for a man to buy me a drink?"

    She emasculated him for whatever reason. I think guys have a healthy fear of that now that women are even more outspoken than ever.

    When he told me the story (called me from the bar), I laughed. I told him that he can't let one lady having a bad day influence his approach on others. I'm a firm believer of not letting one bad apple spoil the whole bunch.

    So, are men intimidated by women? Yes. But, it's not always for the reason women tend to think. Some guys just don't want to get cursed out by "Ms. Independent" or "Ms. Don't Need A Man."

  2. The email I have for you doesn't work. Can you hit me on Twitter @Thank_Q or email at thankq4commonsense@gmail.com?

    (You can delete this)

  3. Hi friends,
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