Monday, December 13, 2010

You Allow The Hurt

We have all been there before. If you haven't, trust me, you will get there one day. We stay with the people that hurt us, and it seems so easy for them. Some of us even have people on the outside telling us how stupid, dumb, or crazy we are for staying with someone that we are totally not happy with. We get into situations with people that don't have their stuff together, and have no clue or goals about their own future. Why is this? Why do we stay there?

A lot of it has to do with the fact that we are holding on to what used to be when we first got with that person. You already know the scenario: You see this person from across the room, they are the best looking thing walking, you meet, begin a wonderful courtship, everything is perfect, then......everything sucks. It's no secret that relationships are great during the "newness". You are in total awe of that person because they are so perfect, they are the one! We don't allow the time to come that they will show their true selves, and that person always shows up at the wrong time. The wrong time is when we have dedicated our all, our total heart, our everything to them. I'm not saying that I'm a saint, because I have done it myself. I have met someone, and just because I felt that they were treating me so good, I fell in love, then the true them came out. I struggled to hold on to that person and it only got worse. I was holding on to the way the person treated me in the beginning, and it was causing me to be blind to the way they were treating me at that moment. There is a valuable lesson to be learned in all of it.

We have to start realizing that people are BLESSED with the time that we give them. All of our time is valuable, and if that person or people are taking you for granted, you need to move on. Take that valuable time back and give it to someone that is worth it. This can be for marriages, friendships, relationships, family, associates, places, people, or things. The more you stick around people that intentionally, or unintentionally hurt you, it begins to be YOUR fault. Yes, YOUR FAULT! It's like we adore punishing ourselves with allowing this hurt and pain. We get hurt, we run and tell someone about it, we cry, we get frustrated, we scream, "NO MORE!" then we run right back to the arms of those SAME undeserving people.

Don't let the past "newness" of any relationship with anyone fool you. Understand that if or when that time comes that the person is not being the same, they are hurting you, disrespecting you, or taking you for granted, it's time to BOUNCE! In most situations, it is extremely hard to do this, but you CAN do it. Cry, scream, have a fit, do yoga, or whatever you need to do, but you need to get a grip on it and move on. Nobody in the world is worth you allowing them to stay in your life and not add value or happiness.

Begin to take more time in getting to REALLY know people. Take about 6 to 9 months before allowing any real feelings to come through. No matter what people tell you, you CAN control your feelings. It may not seem like it because you let your emotions and feelings get the best of you. It is so important to realize that YOU are important to YOU and you should establish boundaries head on in any relationship. Nobody should ever dare to disrespect you or treat you bad. People take advantage of the feelings of others just because they can. It gives some people a sense of importance to know they have that control over your emotions.

Sometimes GOODBYE is the best way to make them wake up and smell the coffee. Believe me; I have had to say GOODBYE even with it was the hardest, hardest, hardest thing to do. That person's response was, "Dang! I see she ain't playing this time! I hope it's not too late. I really miss her and I want this to work." This person had made a complete turn around. Although I did miss them, I tried to join their attempt at making a relationship work, but inside of me was still saying, "How dare he even go there with ME!!! Does he NOT know who I am?" (<<<~~~ I encourage exaggerated sense of importance to everyone!) So I chose to go on and leave him AND the situation alone completely. I could do way better.

Just remember: this life is too precious and delicate to allow and deal with upset, pain, pressure, frustration, and calamity when other people bring it to you. There is a sign on the front door of my life that reads, "STOP AND CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO ENTER!" I advise everyone to read that sign and let it soak in before they knock.


Have Faith

Matthew 9:20- Just then, a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak. She said to herself, "If only I touch the edge of His cloak, I will be healed!"
22- Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "Your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

There are so many of us that would give up if we were subject to twelve years of nonstop bleeding. We would have been to so many doctors' offices, and when the doctors say they don't know what it is, and after so many prayers and not getting any results, we would most likely give up. You can't JUST pray; you have to have faith, and belief as you pray. Just an ounce of faith can heal you, and a strong relationship with God can heal doubt!

The comfort of the Lord's arms is where you should be trying to go. No, that does not mean that you should be trying to die. What I mean by saying "the comfort of the Lord's arms" is that you should live in faith, honour and belief in our Lord and Saviour. Understand that everything that happens to you in life, are just steps in your obstacle course. We are all assigned our own life, with different twists and turns. If illness, pain, suffering, confusion, divorce, or sickness grabs you, or if you are a victim of an act of violence against you...DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE! Touch the hem of His garment by getting on your knees and praying for your healing! As you pray, KNOW in your heart that you are already healed! Feel Jesus in your heart! He is there! The lady that touched the edge of His cloak had faith BEFORE she even did it! Because of her faith, she was healed instantly!

We all know that God is a great God! If she was healed from nonstop bleeding that she was suffering from for twelve years, what kind of healing can you receive for your life by putting your faith, honour, and belief in the Lord! Healing is not just for the weak, ill or weary. Healing can be granted to any part of your life. If you want to be healed by having a better relationship for God, ask Him for it, and work toward that. If you want healing in your financial state, ask Him for it, and work toward it. If you want healing in your relationship/marriage, ask Him for it and work toward it! God hears!