Sunday, September 25, 2011

"I DON'T LIKE HER!" (Jealousy, and other causes of hate for other women)

So, I'm a recent victim of this, right? LOL! (No really....I'M LAUGHING!) I can't help but to laugh at the situation, because the woman that feels that it's smart to go around and tell everybody that she doesn't like me is GROWN, and has no idea that the people that she is unloading all this hate for me on is coming right back and telling me. (Po Lil Tink Tink)Plus, she hasn't known me that long, doesn't know me that well, etc. yadda yadda yang yang. Matter of fact, the same people that she is telling about how much she doesn't like me are baffled as to how she could not like me, because I don't bother anybody, I mind my own business, I stay away from mess, and all I try to do is encourage people. (Let me get off the subject of this "Non motha*********** factor because I feel like I'm in high school all over again!)

Anyway, grown women walk around talking about who they don't like, who they can't stand, etc. and it is absolutely pathetic. (See my blog on Basketball Wives Mentality) It makes my stomach bubble a little bit at the thought of how absolutely immature this sounds. At first, I wasn't even going to entertain this subject by writing a blog, but yeah. I needed to, because some of this mess really should be put to rest!


1) The other woman may be prettier. *sigh*

2) The other woman may have longer hair. (yes, this is true.)*sigh*

3) The other woman may have dated someone a LONG time ago that she is currently entertaining.

4) Her and the other woman may be CURRENTLY dating the same guy, and instead of them both walking away and leaving him alone, they fight each other. *sigh*)

5) The other woman may have a nicer car, clothes, jewelry, etc. (material things)

6) The other woman may have a nice looking man in her life that didn't go for her.

7) The other woman may have absolute confidence and control in herself.

Do you get what I'm saying? All of this seems very petty, but this is a sad reality. Women are actually walking around with hate in their hearts for these, and so many other childish reasons.

Now, I'm no saint. I will stand up tall and CONFESS that I am guilty of this. I have done this before: not liked another woman because of an egg head dude that I was still in love with and he had moved on to her, or I didn't like who had made it known that they didn't like me. Many of us don't understand that the simple way to not have to deal with whatever is causing the feeling of hate in our hearts for other women is to simply not entertain it, and for GOODNESS' SAKE, don't go around telling people how much you don't like the woman! JEESH! YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! If this feeling for this other woman won't go away, go to the root of it and find out what is causing the issue. You may find out that it's an internal message trying to get to your brain on what YOU need to do for YOURSELF.

Before someone comments and says, "Sooooo, Tameka, do you STILL not like So and So?!" to be sarcastic, I have learned from my many mistakes; I am not writing this blog to make it seem like I have never done these things. I have not liked women and let them know it by the sour nose, rolling my eyes, and by simply telling them, "Hey, I don't like you, so let's not even deal with each other." but as I got older, wiser and much more mature, I realized how dumb this is, and watching Basketball Wives beats it in my brain deeper and deeper. It used to be fun, now it's just dumb. It should make a woman question what's within her to make her out right not like somebody else, especially if it's someone that they have never spent a day conversing with. Some women can see a woman walking down the street and turn her nose up like she smells boo boo.

Deeply embedded, common issues that cause this foolishness:

1) Low to No Self Esteem

2) Bad or questionable upbringing

3) Not enough love and attention from parents as a child


5) Bitterness

6) In some kind of way, she feels as if the other woman wouldn't accept her.

7) Loneliness and desperation for attention, or always needing to be front and center.

Wow, as I was typing, I realized that I could go on and on!

I will go on and conclude this now, because if I don't I will be typing about this mess for three days straight, with no bathroom breaks, no food, no connection to the outside world, etc.

Ladies, if you find yourself not liking another woman, for whatever reason it may be, STOP! I am a big supporter of going inside yourself to find yourself. I call it, The Screaming Room. (Blog coming up on this too). There is absolutely no reason in the world that you should be grown and not liking another woman for no apparent reason at all, even if it's a situation in which the other woman took your man from you! Let him, and the situation go. In a situation like that, just remove yourself from her presence, and his, so you won't be reminded of the terrible incident. (Of course I mean after you kick her and his asses, but still, you get what I'm saying). Too many of us are walking around here killing ourselves slowly because of simple things like this that can be easily avoided. No wonder why strokes, heart attacks, high blood pressure etc. is running rampant. Love yourself! Love other women!

Attempt to become friends with the woman that you have internal issues with. If not her friend, just simply try to associate with her to learn her character. Another idea that many will probably not be comfortable with is after a while, when you are comfortable, confess the feelings you had at first or currently have for her. Of course there are chances that she may think that you are a jealous, psycho bitch, but hey, the confession will help YOU in the long run, and if she turns out to be a good friend anyway, she won't think that. If you are not interested in any of this, I do understand; I have been there before, but I do suggest simply not encountering the same space with the woman. If you can't dig deep and find out what the cause of it is, just leave it alone, and don't run your mouth to other people about this, or these other woman/women that you "don't like". Trust me; You look stupid to them if you don't have a logical reason as to why this is, and you stand the chance of them going back to tell her/them anyway, and they will laugh at you about this. (Yes, this is what is happening with me and chick who doesn't like me.) *sigh*


No matter how you slice it, it's hate in your heart, and YOU are the one that put it there. You are the one with the problem, not the woman or women you don't like. Get rid of it; It's more simple than you think,and by all means.... GROW UP!