Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Fear and Traveling Don't Mix

California!!! *sighhhhh* I hear you calling my name. There is a whole big ol' world out there that I have no clue what it looks like. I like to sit and look at pictures and videos from different areas in California, (mostly Malibu and Hollywood) and I just have a weird feeling that it's where I'm supposed to be. The area that I live in now doesn't provide with enough motivation. Not that I don't know that I should motivate myself, but it's just pretty much dead here. I live in North Mississippi. I'm basically in an area that is perfect for people that are retired. It's really laid back and kind of quiet. I know that I have been in this area for too long, because I recently visited New Orleans and I felt a huge sense of anxiety with the brighter lights, traffic and activities. On the way down Interstate 55, we got into the New Orleans area and started seeing water everywhere! Well of course I started getting nervous, because I freak out around large bodies of water. I kept a migraine headache the whole time I was there from anxiety, and the excitement got to be so much that I couldn't wait to get back home.

I have promised myself that in 2011 I will begin to do things even if fear arises. I have to stop living my life because of fear, anxiety and stress. I want to get out there and experience things, people and places, and taste new foods etc. Fear has kept me down long enough. Places that I want to go include Hollywood, California, the Hitsville Building where a lot of Motown music was made and recorded
and Malibu, California. The only things stopping me is me, my fear, and anxiety. I have let them take me over for too long. So much of my life has passed me by. I am now 33 years old, and I can't do too much because of fear. Well, I'm on a mission to change all of this! I have to get back into my picture taking habits too. I think I should start a portfolio of my travels so I can keep up with my success at getting over fear.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Black Brother, I need you to stand! I need you to recognize your power, show off your strength, I need you to take my hand.

Black Brotha, what happened to the days when you carried me and your children on your back, through the hills and sands, through the deserts and storms, through the mountains and wars?
Black Brother, now you call me and my sisters sluts, bitches, shawties, lil mamas and whores.

Black Brotha, what happened to the days when I was your more sought out treasure? Now you look at me like a piece of meat….as if I’m only there for your sexual pleasure.

Black Brotha you walk around here with your pants hanging down, gold on your teeth, and you look at me and say, “To hell with an education!”

But that possible education can educate you that you are the one that built this nation.

Black Brotha, what is it, my strong Black Brotha? If I don’t have big breasts, a big butt, long weave and thick thighs, my beautiful black skin is not enough to get your attention?

Black Brotha, when you speak of the ones that are always there for you…..when it comes to your black sistas? ….. not even a mention.

Black Brotha, you are running out on the ones that need you the most: Your children, you wives, you sisters, your mothers.
The black woman is the one that loves and cherishes the ground you walk on…..not the others.

Black Brotha, what happened to the time when you made me feel like a precious jewel, a valued stone, a pot of gold, your most cherished possession?
I don’t know what happened, but lend me your ear. Let me teach you this lesson.

I am not your whore, your slutt, your bitch or your shawty. I am your queen, your Sheba, your diamond, I’m flawless.

Black Brotha, I’m not your lil mama, your ma, your boo, or your baby mama.
Black Brotha, I’m the mother of this earth, the mother of all, your supporter, and the mother of your intelligent African American Children, without the drama.

Black Brotha, I go through these struggle with you, therefore I’m to be cherished, admired, loved, and protected.
When it comes to you and I, my brotha, that bond should never be affected.

Black Brotha, you see, I’m still here for you, because this is a part of the battles, the wars, and the thick and thin.
Black Brotha, I will still admire you as the strong and mighty being that you are, although you love one who doesn’t have my skin.

Black Brotha, You have turned your back on me, my brotha, but that’s ok. I take that as you being blind, a little unconcerned, belligerent, what more can I say?

Black Brotha, don’t think for a minute, my Brotha, that I will ever be happy that you love another….. one that doesn’t have my skin.
When it comes to the one that suffered through history…..that’s me. That’s something that “she” will never win.

Black Brotha, when I raise my fist in happiness, lift my voice, and scream “MY BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, LOUD, PROUD AND STRONG!”
You look at me as if I have done something wrong.

Black Brotha, wake up! I need you! I feel you slipping away from my grasp.
Our African American children need you. Their slipping through society without a man’s discipline is not going to last.

Black Brotha, Black Brotha. I need you to stand! I need you to recognize your power, show off your strength, I need you to take my hand.

Spoken Word "AS I WALK BY" Written and recorded by Tameka TheHurricane ...

Excuse me brother, but can you step aside as I walk by? Please give me room, because these hips will knock you down as they swing from side to side.

As I walk by, try not to become mesmerized by the scent of my body’s natural smell, because it is ever so sweet. Try not to let your mind wonder, and wonder and wonder, at the sweet little things that you want to say to me.

Try not to get turned on by the swing of my hips, or the sound of my stilettos, as they click clatter on the ground. As I walk by, try to get a good look at me, because not too many like me come around.

As I walk by, don’t get too fascinated by the swing of my hair, or the twinkle in my eye. Don’t get too excited by the glistening of my lips, my brother, as I walk by.

My brother, don’t get intimidated by my attitude, and confidence that I have about my self. I carry confidence as if I have that Donald Trump kind of wealth.

As I walk by, my brother, don’t forget to smile. There is something gentle, kind, and warm in a man’s smile that we like to see every once in a while.

As I walk by, my brother, please realize that I am a woman on a mission. You just might notice that I am the woman that your life is missing.

As I walk by, my brother, try not to be stunned by the flawlessness of my skin, and the twinkle of the diamonds in my ears. Realize, my brother, I’m a strong woman, and it shows, even through my tears.

Realize, my brother, as I walk, the strength of my legs as they carry my stature, which seem to be effortlessly. Realize my brother, as I walk by, my space should be given to me.

-Miss Tameka R. Frost


So she was off yesterday, and everything was peaceful. The coworker got a chance to take a two hour lunch, and I left two hours early for the evening. We come in today, and another coworker gives me the warning when I get out of the car, "She has an attitude today." I give my usual roll eyes, flip hair and go on in the office. Big deal! I walk over to my desk and there is a note that reads, "Tameka, I need all of your guest cards! Per our last meeting, you are to put all guest cards and rentals on my desk!" Again, I give my eye roll, flip hair
balled up the paper loudly, and walked into her office and said, "This is the only guest card that I have. To my understanding, I thought you wanted everything when you were here, not while you were gone. She said, "I was clear. I want it when you get it." You probably guessed the look I gave her....

This little skinny blonde broad is really tripping. She makes me really sick of her little funky attitude whenever it's obvious that she didn't get any "love" from her husband the night before. I have had a few run ins with this heffa before, and I had to straight up let her know, that I am not the daughter that she raises at home. I'm a grown woman just as she is and she will treat me as such.

There are too many people out here that have been granted their position out of luck. They get these high positions and try to look down on the people they employ. Don't get me wrong; there are some "bosses" out there that are angels, but this one right here was bred strickly from Satan! She really doesn't have any true feelings for other people although she tries hard to make it seem as if she does. Sometimes I come in here and I just want to walk out to never look back.

I'm still learning, but I know that I should never allow someone else's mood or actions to effect me. It has taken some hard work and discipline to get this way. I just stay out of her way, and she stays out of mine. Other coworkers try to run in and be her friend when she is on a warpath, but I know myself
I should just stay back, because I am known to say what I feel. I haven't always been this way, but situations like this made me how I am now.

Monday, December 13, 2010

You Allow The Hurt

We have all been there before. If you haven't, trust me, you will get there one day. We stay with the people that hurt us, and it seems so easy for them. Some of us even have people on the outside telling us how stupid, dumb, or crazy we are for staying with someone that we are totally not happy with. We get into situations with people that don't have their stuff together, and have no clue or goals about their own future. Why is this? Why do we stay there?

A lot of it has to do with the fact that we are holding on to what used to be when we first got with that person. You already know the scenario: You see this person from across the room, they are the best looking thing walking, you meet, begin a wonderful courtship, everything is perfect, then......everything sucks. It's no secret that relationships are great during the "newness". You are in total awe of that person because they are so perfect, they are the one! We don't allow the time to come that they will show their true selves, and that person always shows up at the wrong time. The wrong time is when we have dedicated our all, our total heart, our everything to them. I'm not saying that I'm a saint, because I have done it myself. I have met someone, and just because I felt that they were treating me so good, I fell in love, then the true them came out. I struggled to hold on to that person and it only got worse. I was holding on to the way the person treated me in the beginning, and it was causing me to be blind to the way they were treating me at that moment. There is a valuable lesson to be learned in all of it.

We have to start realizing that people are BLESSED with the time that we give them. All of our time is valuable, and if that person or people are taking you for granted, you need to move on. Take that valuable time back and give it to someone that is worth it. This can be for marriages, friendships, relationships, family, associates, places, people, or things. The more you stick around people that intentionally, or unintentionally hurt you, it begins to be YOUR fault. Yes, YOUR FAULT! It's like we adore punishing ourselves with allowing this hurt and pain. We get hurt, we run and tell someone about it, we cry, we get frustrated, we scream, "NO MORE!" then we run right back to the arms of those SAME undeserving people.

Don't let the past "newness" of any relationship with anyone fool you. Understand that if or when that time comes that the person is not being the same, they are hurting you, disrespecting you, or taking you for granted, it's time to BOUNCE! In most situations, it is extremely hard to do this, but you CAN do it. Cry, scream, have a fit, do yoga, or whatever you need to do, but you need to get a grip on it and move on. Nobody in the world is worth you allowing them to stay in your life and not add value or happiness.

Begin to take more time in getting to REALLY know people. Take about 6 to 9 months before allowing any real feelings to come through. No matter what people tell you, you CAN control your feelings. It may not seem like it because you let your emotions and feelings get the best of you. It is so important to realize that YOU are important to YOU and you should establish boundaries head on in any relationship. Nobody should ever dare to disrespect you or treat you bad. People take advantage of the feelings of others just because they can. It gives some people a sense of importance to know they have that control over your emotions.

Sometimes GOODBYE is the best way to make them wake up and smell the coffee. Believe me; I have had to say GOODBYE even with it was the hardest, hardest, hardest thing to do. That person's response was, "Dang! I see she ain't playing this time! I hope it's not too late. I really miss her and I want this to work." This person had made a complete turn around. Although I did miss them, I tried to join their attempt at making a relationship work, but inside of me was still saying, "How dare he even go there with ME!!! Does he NOT know who I am?" (<<<~~~ I encourage exaggerated sense of importance to everyone!) So I chose to go on and leave him AND the situation alone completely. I could do way better.

Just remember: this life is too precious and delicate to allow and deal with upset, pain, pressure, frustration, and calamity when other people bring it to you. There is a sign on the front door of my life that reads, "STOP AND CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO ENTER!" I advise everyone to read that sign and let it soak in before they knock.


Have Faith

Matthew 9:20- Just then, a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak. She said to herself, "If only I touch the edge of His cloak, I will be healed!"
22- Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "Your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

There are so many of us that would give up if we were subject to twelve years of nonstop bleeding. We would have been to so many doctors' offices, and when the doctors say they don't know what it is, and after so many prayers and not getting any results, we would most likely give up. You can't JUST pray; you have to have faith, and belief as you pray. Just an ounce of faith can heal you, and a strong relationship with God can heal doubt!

The comfort of the Lord's arms is where you should be trying to go. No, that does not mean that you should be trying to die. What I mean by saying "the comfort of the Lord's arms" is that you should live in faith, honour and belief in our Lord and Saviour. Understand that everything that happens to you in life, are just steps in your obstacle course. We are all assigned our own life, with different twists and turns. If illness, pain, suffering, confusion, divorce, or sickness grabs you, or if you are a victim of an act of violence against you...DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE! Touch the hem of His garment by getting on your knees and praying for your healing! As you pray, KNOW in your heart that you are already healed! Feel Jesus in your heart! He is there! The lady that touched the edge of His cloak had faith BEFORE she even did it! Because of her faith, she was healed instantly!

We all know that God is a great God! If she was healed from nonstop bleeding that she was suffering from for twelve years, what kind of healing can you receive for your life by putting your faith, honour, and belief in the Lord! Healing is not just for the weak, ill or weary. Healing can be granted to any part of your life. If you want to be healed by having a better relationship for God, ask Him for it, and work toward that. If you want healing in your financial state, ask Him for it, and work toward it. If you want healing in your relationship/marriage, ask Him for it and work toward it! God hears!