Fear and Traveling Don't Mix

California!!! *sighhhhh* I hear you calling my name. There is a whole big ol' world out there that I have no clue what it looks like. I like to sit and look at pictures and videos from different areas in California, (mostly Malibu and Hollywood) and I just have a weird feeling that it's where I'm supposed to be. The area that I live in now doesn't provide with enough motivation. Not that I don't know that I should motivate myself, but it's just pretty much dead here. I live in North Mississippi. I'm basically in an area that is perfect for people that are retired. It's really laid back and kind of quiet. I know that I have been in this area for too long, because I recently visited New Orleans and I felt a huge sense of anxiety with the brighter lights, traffic and activities. On the way down Interstate 55, we got into the New Orleans area and started seeing water everywhere! Well of course I started getting nervous, because I freak out around large bodies of water. I kept a migraine headache the whole time I was there from anxiety, and the excitement got to be so much that I couldn't wait to get back home.



I have promised myself that in 2011 I will begin to do things even if fear arises. I have to stop living my life because of fear, anxiety and stress. I want to get out there and experience things, people and places, and taste new foods etc. Fear has kept me down long enough. Places that I want to go include Hollywood, California, the Hitsville Building where a lot of Motown music was made and recorded
and Malibu, California. The only things stopping me is me, my fear, and anxiety. I have let them take me over for too long. So much of my life has passed me by. I am now 33 years old, and I can't do too much because of fear. Well, I'm on a mission to change all of this! I have to get back into my picture taking habits too. I think I should start a portfolio of my travels so I can keep up with my success at getting over fear.

BLACK BROTHA

Black Brother, I need you to stand! I need you to recognize your power, show off your strength, I need you to take my hand.

Black Brotha, what happened to the days when you carried me and your children on your back, through the hills and sands, through the deserts and storms, through the mountains and wars?
Black Brother, now you call me and my sisters sluts, bitches, shawties, lil mamas and whores.

Black Brotha, what happened to the days when I was your more sought out treasure? Now you look at me like a piece of meat….as if I’m only there for your sexual pleasure.

Black Brotha you walk around here with your pants hanging down, gold on your teeth, and you look at me and say, “To hell with an education!”

But that possible education can educate you that you are the one that built this nation.

Black Brotha, what is it, my strong Black Brotha? If I don’t have big breasts, a big butt, long weave and thick thighs, my beautiful black skin is not enough to get your attention?

Black Brotha, when you speak of the ones that are always there for you…..when it comes to your black sistas? ….. not even a mention.

Black Brotha, you are running out on the ones that need you the most: Your children, you wives, you sisters, your mothers.
The black woman is the one that loves and cherishes the ground you walk on…..not the others.

Black Brotha, what happened to the time when you made me feel like a precious jewel, a valued stone, a pot of gold, your most cherished possession?
I don’t know what happened, but lend me your ear. Let me teach you this lesson.

I am not your whore, your slutt, your bitch or your shawty. I am your queen, your Sheba, your diamond, I’m flawless.

Black Brotha, I’m not your lil mama, your ma, your boo, or your baby mama.
Black Brotha, I’m the mother of this earth, the mother of all, your supporter, and the mother of your intelligent African American Children, without the drama.

Black Brotha, I go through these struggle with you, therefore I’m to be cherished, admired, loved, and protected.
When it comes to you and I, my brotha, that bond should never be affected.

Black Brotha, you see, I’m still here for you, because this is a part of the battles, the wars, and the thick and thin.
Black Brotha, I will still admire you as the strong and mighty being that you are, although you love one who doesn’t have my skin.

Black Brotha, You have turned your back on me, my brotha, but that’s ok. I take that as you being blind, a little unconcerned, belligerent, what more can I say?

Black Brotha, don’t think for a minute, my Brotha, that I will ever be happy that you love another….. one that doesn’t have my skin.
When it comes to the one that suffered through history…..that’s me. That’s something that “she” will never win.

Black Brotha, when I raise my fist in happiness, lift my voice, and scream “MY BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL, LOUD, PROUD AND STRONG!”
You look at me as if I have done something wrong.

Black Brotha, wake up! I need you! I feel you slipping away from my grasp.
Our African American children need you. Their slipping through society without a man’s discipline is not going to last.


Black Brotha, Black Brotha. I need you to stand! I need you to recognize your power, show off your strength, I need you to take my hand.

Spoken Word "AS I WALK BY" Written and recorded by Tameka TheHurricane ...

Excuse me brother, but can you step aside as I walk by? Please give me room, because these hips will knock you down as they swing from side to side.

As I walk by, try not to become mesmerized by the scent of my body’s natural smell, because it is ever so sweet. Try not to let your mind wonder, and wonder and wonder, at the sweet little things that you want to say to me.

Try not to get turned on by the swing of my hips, or the sound of my stilettos, as they click clatter on the ground. As I walk by, try to get a good look at me, because not too many like me come around.

As I walk by, don’t get too fascinated by the swing of my hair, or the twinkle in my eye. Don’t get too excited by the glistening of my lips, my brother, as I walk by.

My brother, don’t get intimidated by my attitude, and confidence that I have about my self. I carry confidence as if I have that Donald Trump kind of wealth.

As I walk by, my brother, don’t forget to smile. There is something gentle, kind, and warm in a man’s smile that we like to see every once in a while.

As I walk by, my brother, please realize that I am a woman on a mission. You just might notice that I am the woman that your life is missing.

As I walk by, my brother, try not to be stunned by the flawlessness of my skin, and the twinkle of the diamonds in my ears. Realize, my brother, I’m a strong woman, and it shows, even through my tears.

Realize, my brother, as I walk, the strength of my legs as they carry my stature, which seem to be effortlessly. Realize my brother, as I walk by, my space should be given to me.

-Miss Tameka R. Frost

THE BOSS IS IN A BAD MOOD.....RUNNNNN! *Not*

So she was off yesterday, and everything was peaceful. The coworker got a chance to take a two hour lunch, and I left two hours early for the evening. We come in today, and another coworker gives me the warning when I get out of the car, "She has an attitude today." I give my usual roll eyes, flip hair and go on in the office. Big deal! I walk over to my desk and there is a note that reads, "Tameka, I need all of your guest cards! Per our last meeting, you are to put all guest cards and rentals on my desk!" Again, I give my eye roll, flip hair
balled up the paper loudly, and walked into her office and said, "This is the only guest card that I have. To my understanding, I thought you wanted everything when you were here, not while you were gone. She said, "I was clear. I want it when you get it." You probably guessed the look I gave her....

This little skinny blonde broad is really tripping. She makes me really sick of her little funky attitude whenever it's obvious that she didn't get any "love" from her husband the night before. I have had a few run ins with this heffa before, and I had to straight up let her know, that I am not the daughter that she raises at home. I'm a grown woman just as she is and she will treat me as such.

There are too many people out here that have been granted their position out of luck. They get these high positions and try to look down on the people they employ. Don't get me wrong; there are some "bosses" out there that are angels, but this one right here was bred strickly from Satan! She really doesn't have any true feelings for other people although she tries hard to make it seem as if she does. Sometimes I come in here and I just want to walk out to never look back.

I'm still learning, but I know that I should never allow someone else's mood or actions to effect me. It has taken some hard work and discipline to get this way. I just stay out of her way, and she stays out of mine. Other coworkers try to run in and be her friend when she is on a warpath, but I know myself
I should just stay back, because I am known to say what I feel. I haven't always been this way, but situations like this made me how I am now.

You Allow The Hurt

We have all been there before. If you haven't, trust me, you will get there one day. We stay with the people that hurt us, and it seems so easy for them. Some of us even have people on the outside telling us how stupid, dumb, or crazy we are for staying with someone that we are totally not happy with. We get into situations with people that don't have their stuff together, and have no clue or goals about their own future. Why is this? Why do we stay there?

A lot of it has to do with the fact that we are holding on to what used to be when we first got with that person. You already know the scenario: You see this person from across the room, they are the best looking thing walking, you meet, begin a wonderful courtship, everything is perfect, then......everything sucks. It's no secret that relationships are great during the "newness". You are in total awe of that person because they are so perfect, they are the one! We don't allow the time to come that they will show their true selves, and that person always shows up at the wrong time. The wrong time is when we have dedicated our all, our total heart, our everything to them. I'm not saying that I'm a saint, because I have done it myself. I have met someone, and just because I felt that they were treating me so good, I fell in love, then the true them came out. I struggled to hold on to that person and it only got worse. I was holding on to the way the person treated me in the beginning, and it was causing me to be blind to the way they were treating me at that moment. There is a valuable lesson to be learned in all of it.

We have to start realizing that people are BLESSED with the time that we give them. All of our time is valuable, and if that person or people are taking you for granted, you need to move on. Take that valuable time back and give it to someone that is worth it. This can be for marriages, friendships, relationships, family, associates, places, people, or things. The more you stick around people that intentionally, or unintentionally hurt you, it begins to be YOUR fault. Yes, YOUR FAULT! It's like we adore punishing ourselves with allowing this hurt and pain. We get hurt, we run and tell someone about it, we cry, we get frustrated, we scream, "NO MORE!" then we run right back to the arms of those SAME undeserving people.

Don't let the past "newness" of any relationship with anyone fool you. Understand that if or when that time comes that the person is not being the same, they are hurting you, disrespecting you, or taking you for granted, it's time to BOUNCE! In most situations, it is extremely hard to do this, but you CAN do it. Cry, scream, have a fit, do yoga, or whatever you need to do, but you need to get a grip on it and move on. Nobody in the world is worth you allowing them to stay in your life and not add value or happiness.

Begin to take more time in getting to REALLY know people. Take about 6 to 9 months before allowing any real feelings to come through. No matter what people tell you, you CAN control your feelings. It may not seem like it because you let your emotions and feelings get the best of you. It is so important to realize that YOU are important to YOU and you should establish boundaries head on in any relationship. Nobody should ever dare to disrespect you or treat you bad. People take advantage of the feelings of others just because they can. It gives some people a sense of importance to know they have that control over your emotions.

Sometimes GOODBYE is the best way to make them wake up and smell the coffee. Believe me; I have had to say GOODBYE even with it was the hardest, hardest, hardest thing to do. That person's response was, "Dang! I see she ain't playing this time! I hope it's not too late. I really miss her and I want this to work." This person had made a complete turn around. Although I did miss them, I tried to join their attempt at making a relationship work, but inside of me was still saying, "How dare he even go there with ME!!! Does he NOT know who I am?" (<<<~~~ I encourage exaggerated sense of importance to everyone!) So I chose to go on and leave him AND the situation alone completely. I could do way better.

Just remember: this life is too precious and delicate to allow and deal with upset, pain, pressure, frustration, and calamity when other people bring it to you. There is a sign on the front door of my life that reads, "STOP AND CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU EVEN ATTEMPT TO ENTER!" I advise everyone to read that sign and let it soak in before they knock.

#VentingComplete

Have Faith

Matthew 9:20- Just then, a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the edge of His cloak. She said to herself, "If only I touch the edge of His cloak, I will be healed!"
22- Jesus turned and saw her. "Take heart, daughter," he said, "Your faith has healed you." And the woman was healed from that moment.

There are so many of us that would give up if we were subject to twelve years of nonstop bleeding. We would have been to so many doctors' offices, and when the doctors say they don't know what it is, and after so many prayers and not getting any results, we would most likely give up. You can't JUST pray; you have to have faith, and belief as you pray. Just an ounce of faith can heal you, and a strong relationship with God can heal you....no doubt!

The comfort of the Lord's arms is where you should be trying to go. No, that does not mean that you should be trying to die. What I mean by saying "the comfort of the Lord's arms" is that you should live in faith, honour and belief in our Lord and Saviour. Understand that everything that happens to you in life, are just steps in your obstacle course. We are all assigned our own life, with different twists and turns. If illness, pain, suffering, confusion, divorce, or sickness grabs you, or if you are a victim of an act of violence against you...DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE! Touch the hem of His garment by getting on your knees and praying for your healing! As you pray, KNOW in your heart that you are already healed! Feel Jesus in your heart! He is there! The lady that touched the edge of His cloak had faith BEFORE she even did it! Because of her faith, she was healed instantly!

We all know that God is a great God! If she was healed from nonstop bleeding that she was suffering from for twelve years, what kind of healing can you receive for your life by putting your faith, honour, and belief in the Lord! Healing is not just for the weak, ill or weary. Healing can be granted to any part of your life. If you want to be healed by having a better relationship for God, ask Him for it, and work toward that. If you want healing in your financial state, ask Him for it, and work toward it. If you want healing in your relationship/marriage, ask Him for it and work toward it! God hears!

finished product from wrapping African American Hair.

Venting

The Actual Wet Hair Wrapping Process

How to wrap African American Hair

When always being positive before Calamity isn't enough…


It’s no secret that life deals you hands of ups and downs, all the time. It’s not our decision; it’s going to happen anyway, but what is there to do when we go through those things that seem to have no end? How is it even possible to have a positive outlook when “stuck” is all that we seem to have? Well, whenever we ask that question to someone, our answer is always, “Pray about it,” “Give it to God”, or, “Things will get better.” All of this is true. We are supposed to pray that things get better while going through the storm, but just praying about some things getting better is not all it takes to make it better. Yes, it’s true.

While praying, we shouldn’t just ask for God to make things better. He helps those that help themselves. A lot of times, changes in the way we put our prayers may be what we should consider. We should start asking God to show us the way to make things better. Too many of us ask, “God, please make this better”, then sit on our rump and wait for the better to come. Is that right, though? In some cases, yes. In cases where we have no control over our situation, that may work, but we still have work to do, even in that situation. The work is to have faith that all will be better. Having faith through difficult times is hard work, especially when the hard times make us feel as if we have hit rock bottom! I mean, how can one lose their home, their car, their spouse and children, and their employment, and have faith that it will get better? Well, there are several more homes out there, several more vehicles, there’s always hope for reconciliation in marriages, and no matter what people are trying to make us think about there being no jobs available, there’s always available employment. During those times, it’s hard to even think that way, but that’s the power of mind control. As I always say: you control your mind; don’t LET it control you.

Our mistake is that we always see the bad, and it takes control of our hope. Think about it: the bad is normally what happens first, and us having hope that things will get better for what happened happens second, which means that the bad showed up first. If we practiced on having faith, no matter what happens in life, then that means that faith will be there first. Get it?

We have to practice on having faith at all times; that’s the key. If we begin to wake up every morning and have faith that whatever the day brings, we will make it through successfully, we would then handle all situations gracefully when they occur. Terrible situations do happen, this we know. How often do we sit and realize that though? Many people tell us to always think positive, but in my opinion, that’s only beneficial with positive emotions. It may keep you in a good mood, but when you only plan for positive outcomes in all situations, when the bad happens, we are affected devastatingly. Now, I’m not saying all of this to try to get people to think more of the bad, but always remember that everything is not perfect. Facing that fact takes off some of the negative affect of depression and the feeling of “let down” when things don’t go the way we hoped.

When things happen in our life, we have to remember that everything, the bad and the good, happens to us because each person, thing, place, or situation are all steps in our journey. We have to get rid of the “Why me?” question. We have to get rid of the feeling that things will never change, or that we can’t deal with it. Remember, if we couldn’t handle it, it wouldn’t happen. That’s the truth. While going through, it helps to replay what has happened to you before, that you made it out of. That helps to regain focus. It serves as a reminder that things will happen, and just like we are happy about the things that are good, we can also be happy about the bad things, because we know how to remind ourselves that we can handle it. Or, in current slang, “We got this!”

RACISM, or just over analyzing?

Let me get this out of the way: I'm the only African American female at my job. Now, I was at work on 10/12/2010, around 5:20 p.m., with a Caucasian coworker, and one of her associates who was there to visit her, who is also Caucasian. The coworker stated that she saw online that a mass murderer from Memphis, Tennessee, an African American, had been convicted of murder, and had received the death penalty. Something inside me said, "Uh oh. What will be said next?"
She went on to state that the headline of the next story read, "Memphis Welcomes Five African Penguins." She said, "Now, they have that story right under the Mass Murderer's story!" Her and her friend laughed out loud, and he said, "That's how they should put it huh?" HALT! Are they saying that the story of the African penguins was put after the story of the African American mass murderer because there was a connection? Were they really making a racial joke of this in front of me and thinking that I wouldn't pick up on it?

Ok, I'm used to being told that I read a lot into situations, and that I make stuff more serious than it seems. I just have a feeling that this was racial talk that was meant to be subliminal, but I caught it, in which a lot of subliminal talk doesn't go over my head too much, too often. Now, this same coworker has said little racial things before,for example, saying, "Ninja" instead of Nigger, but with me being me, and in my work environment, I just brushed it off, and prayed for her, but I'm beginning to think that the more I DON'T say anything, the more this is happening, because she feels a sense of comfort in knowing I won't confront her. I have chopped it up to me just not responding to ignorance, and blamed it on her being younger than I, and not really knowing any better.

So, I can't help but wonder if I'm doing the right thing by not saying anything about the constant ignorance that I endure on my every day grind on the j.o.b, or if I should go on and speak up at the risk of them calling me, an over analyzer, sensitive, or crazy. It's a known fact, that African Americans are quick to be called "sensitive", or "crazy", or better yet, "pulling the race card", when we speak up for ourselves. With this being my job, and with past experiences I have had with this place, I have learned to just shut my mouth and roll with the flow, all while trying to get the h.e. double hockey sticks out of there!

There was a time, at my current job, where a lease agreement was being stolen from me by this same coworker, (which means that a $50.00 commission was being snatched right from under my nose), and I spoke with her about it, calmly. Instead of her talking more in detail with me about the issue, she went and told the manager, and I was called into the office and told that, "Nobody is out to steal from me, and I should have come to management with the problem." Let me back up a little bit: there was a time when I did go to management about something ELSE this girl had done, and management told me to talk to her about it. So, the next episode, I did talk to her about it, but I was the one called in the office like I had done something wrong.

These are only a couple of instances that I have been through. This job has caused me to be stressed out so bad at one point, that it caused me to have high blood pressure, panic attacks, and ongoing anxiety. I totally believe that I will be delivered away from this situation in due time, but the situation with the penguin connection to the African American mass murderer's story stunned me. I really don't know why, because it's at the point where I know to expect this kind of behavior from my every day surroundings.

So, now I'm struggling with whether I should even go to management with this, or just let it go, and continue to be ready to throw them the Chris Brown "deuces" when my blessing for another job comes. Something is telling me to lean more toward not even worrying about it, because of the way things have gone in the past.

**********UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE* UPDATE**********

Ok, I had to get back on here and update this blog. After I posted this blog, because the situation sat on my mind for the rest of the evening that the incident occurred, I opened the Bible, and started reading. This is what I read:

Proberbs 10 19 and 20

(19)"In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."

(20)"The Tongue of the righteous is choice silver; the heart of the wicked is worth little."

There is no doubt that this is my answer. I will just remain quiet about the situation, because the heart of the person it came from is worthless. (Plus, remembering that my past attempts to discuss situations never ended up being successful). I can now put the situation to rest.

Social Networking: Beneficial, or Not?

So, there's been a lot of talk about social networking sites lately. There's Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and so on, and so forth. True, social networking is a great tool to put to use when you want to reconnect with old friends, classmates, family members, etcetera. I have found Facebook to be extremely beneficial in those aspects. I have found family members that I didn't even know existed! On the other hand, there are the downs of Social Networking. Social Networking is being blamed for the disappearances, rapes, and murders of several adults and children. I even watched a video on Facebook of a young woman, clad in a two piece bikini that held the striking resemblance of a barbie doll. The video goes on to show several slides of her, then it gives an explanation that she turned down a random guy's invitation to meet up. The guy alledgedly got information that she voluntarily put on her profile, which included her personal address and phone number. He showed up at her doorstep, then the video goes on to show slides of her laying in blood. She had been murdered.

I have to be honest, I don't know just how true the video is; it may have been a hoax, but there is a striking reality about the punchline of the video. Somewhere, it has happened. There are pedophiles that seek out the pages of young children, who really don't know any better to not put their personal information on the web. They put their phone numbers on there so their friends can have access to it, but they have no idea the dangers of this. Pedophiles get the information, and they are meeting up with these children. The show, To Catch A Predator, proves this sickening truth. So what can be done? Is there anything?

Of course! Plain and simple: stop putting your personal information on your personal profiles. Giving the benefit of the doubt to some, there are people that don't understand that if you put your address, place of employment, of phone number on the profile, it can be seen by many. I have had some notifications to come to my profile that looks like this: "Jane Doe has changed their number to (555)555-5555.So yes, your friends get notifications when you change your personal information.

There have also been people upset about current employers, or possible future employers looking them up on social networking sites, and finding out information. Many people have even been fired for pictures, and information on their own personal profile. Well, this goes back to NOT putting your personal information out there. Make up an alias. On my Twitter account, my name could be Riding Hood.(Just an example) There is no way in the world that an employer will know to look for me by that name. Yes, you can have the freedom to post whatever you want, and put whatever pictures you want without the dangers of employees finding out.

The situation with the children may not be as easy. Parents are nowadays allowing their children to get profiles on social networking sites. Yes, adding them as friends is ok, because it does let you keep up with their every move......on their Facebook wall, pictures, comments, etcetera, but what's going on inside of their inboxes? Face it: kids are smart. They could give you the password to one account, and be using another one that they made up. So, one solution to this is to make sure that you are talking with your kids about the ins and outs of social networking sites, and please let them know the dangers. Take time out to show them a few episodes of To Catch A Predator. Look up some information on the web about children that are abducted as a result of these sites with your children. Yes, it may cause fears, tears, and a a few nightmares, but hey...ever heard of, "Scared Straight"? It may even make them NOT want to get a profile.

Know what you are doing on these sites. Always be aware that your personal information is going out to everybody that looks at it, all across the nation. Make all of your profiles private, and only add people that you can trust. Only use these sites for the good, while looking out for the bad.

Ladies, Don't Forget Your Worth....EVER!

Lady: if you ever forget your worth, remember the fact that your heart is delicate, but has the strength of steel.




Lady, if you forget your worth, remember: self esteem is from inside to out, not outside to in. The makeup and clothes don't matter.




Lady: if you forget your worth, remember that your Creator gave you the ability give life to another human being.



Lady: if you forget your worth, sit for a moment, cry if you must, but remember all of the things that you have made it through.



Lady: if you forget your worth, pick up a history book and learn about the women that are just like you, that are known as "history".



Lady: if you forget your worth, just remember that your tears don't last always, and you have the control over when they stop.



Lady: if you forget your worth, remember that you are a woman, and you control what you will and won't tolerate.



Lady: if you forget your worth, and you are disrespected, remember that you can demand respect, or eliminate the culprit.



Lady: if you forget your worth, remember that man couldn't do right alone, so you were put here as an improvement.



Lady, if you forget your worth, remember that we go through things that males couldn't dare go through and make it.



Lady: if you forget your worth, remember that we bounce back from pain like a rubber ball, and can even work through it.



Lady: if you forget your worth, remember Proverbs 18:22, “He that finds himself a wife, finds a good thing.”



Lady: if you forget your worth, remember there was a famous song to remind gentlemen to “Treat Her Like A Lady.”



Lady: If you forget your worth, remember….I’m telling you “YOU’RE WORTH A LOT!”

Oh, You Don't Care? FINE! I Don't Either!!!

I just realized yesterday that I have lost a lot of concern for a lot of people.


I am completely aware of the fact that my first sentence of this blog is harsh, but I'm just not ashamed to admit it.

I asked myself why this was. I totally think that I have let people make me that way. Whenever I am sick, I have noticed that I don't have that many people to call and check on me. ( Ok, I know a lot of you are reading this and saying, "But you hate to talk on the phone!" so let me change that.) Whenever I am sick, I have noticed that many people don't TEXT me to check on me. Just that simple, "Hey, are you ok?" text from someone works wonders on someone like me, that feels that nobody is ever really there.
NOTICE!!!!!!!: THIS IS NOT SOME SAD WIMPY NOTE TO GET SYMPATHY!!!!!!!! #CarryOn

I used to be the one that was so concerned about other people, that when they felt down, I could actually feel it as well. I would stay in touch with them, and try to nurse them back to happiness with my inspirational quotes. Well, all of that has totally changed about me. I,sometimes,feel as if I couldn't care less about your headache that you have had for the last week, your surgery that you are about to have, your constant leg pain, your toothache, etc.

Before you get your drawz in a bunch and tell me how cruel I am, let me explain why I'm typing this blog.

I KNOW THIS IS NOT THE WAY I SHOULD BE! There, I said it. Happy now? I realize that just because I don't get a text here and there, or a friendly knock on the door to make sure I'm not in my apartment keeled over on the floor with forty pill bottles in front of me, the random gift certificate to a day spa, or the surprise party just because I'm a great person, that I am still loved by many, even though I don't hear it often. (Yes, the last two were hints *smile*)

We don't say, "I love you" enough. We don't check on each other enough. We don't really love each other enough. We don't remind each other that we are all important enough. By not doing all of these things, we are making each other not interested in doing any of it. We have to remember to love each other. I'm at the point where people KNOW that I hate talking on the phone. LOL! I have an excuse though; the phone rings all day at the office, and I get tired of talking on it! (Ok, I know that's not really an excuse.)

Now, I'm not cold hearted. I never have been, I wasn't raised that way, and it's not even really in my blood. After having so many failed friendships, a couple failed relationships, and not really being close to family, this is how I have ended up. It's totally not that I don't care about people, it's just that I don't have a desire to check on them and stay in touch. Often, we go through things with so many different people and situations, and we just get drained. It feels better to just be left alone, and not to bother. It doesn't mean that I'm inconsiderate, or not passionate about others, I would just rather be alone.

BUUUUTTTTT... I am going to change this. I am going to stay in touch (through text,email etc) with others that I should be concerned about, whether they show concern or not. Showing concern should not be based on who shows you concern; it should just be done anyway. Lately, a few people that I knew personally either fell ill, took their own life, or their life was taken by the hands of other people. I have sat and wondered if there was possibly anything that I could have done to change the outcomes.

We get that, "Why even bother?" attitude easily. That is what I have done to myself. IF YOU AREN'T WORRIED ABOUT ME, I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT YOU!!! #Fail.
Everybody is not the same, although a lot of people really are. The unconcern of others can cause you to not be concerned. EASILY!

SOOOO.....I will begin to come out of the box to see daylight from time to time, but I will go right back inside. Maybe one day, I will come outside,sit on the porch, have a glass of lemonade and just bask in the sunshine, and have no worries or agitations. That day is coming. BABY STEPS THOUGH! BABY STEPS!

Rest in Peace, Home Town Friend.

Mistakes, the Lord does not make. What He does is just as a stern father does to their own child; He uses stern disciplinary actions to get them in order. When tragedy strikes, a lot of us are more concerned about the “Whys”, the “whos”, the “whens” and the “buts” of the situation, but that should be of no concern to us. What we should be concerned about is: What can we do to make this situation better? What can we do to help the family of the person which whom the tragedy struck? What can we do to get our community back on track? Our children are quickly going down the wrong road, what can we do to grab the reigns? In all bad situations, there are internal, deep, important messages to be learned.

God has control over this world. Period. He controls the floods, rain, lightening, and thunder of each and every storm. In light, He also controls the colors of the rainbows after each storm. It may seem crazy to read the following statement, but it is totally true: THERE IS BEAUTY TO BE FOUND IN EACH TRAGIC, OR BAD SITUATION. It is up to us all to figure out what that beauty is, instead of focusing on how terrible the situation is itself. Focusing too hard on the negative of any situation brings, depression, anger, resentment, sickness, despair, etc. Focusing on figuring out what the beauty of the situation is gives us hope, and something to look forward to. Grieve, and focus on the situation only for a moment, because that’s natural. I’m not saying to totally forget about it as soon as it happens; that’s not possible. What I’m saying is to not let it completely get you to the point where you think there’s no hope, because there is so much hope.

There are changes to be made, kids to focus on and get on the right track, and hope to give back. This is the time to focus on the good times, and make preparations for the future, because it can be bright, if only we shine the light. This one struck very close to home, so let this be a reminder that we are only borrowing this time here on earth. ( I, myself don’t like to hear people say that, but it is the truth that sometimes stings the worst.) While we are here on earth, let’s make sure that we love each other to the best of our abilities, and not hate one another. If there is someone that doesn’t like you, or doesn’t value your time, pray for that person anyway, and send them on their way. If you are being talked about by other people, then GREAT! Think about how you would feel if NOBODY was even giving you a thought.

Senselessness is growing rapidly in our communities, and it’s killing our young children, and ones that are nearest and dearest to us.
We have our communities to get back! So, with all that being said, let’s make it happen! Rest in Peace, Richard M. Allen Jr.

Don't Be A Prisoner Of Your Life

"Whatever our current circumstances may be,we must refuse to allow the events of our life to make us a prisoner." - Howard Thurman

I think that everyone that is within reading of this blog has been through some things that have made us think twice about other situations that we may encounter. Sometimes we can have the chances of our lifetime, but, because of something that has happened to us in the past, we refuse to move forward.

I, myself, admit to struggling with trust in romantic relationships. Some of you know that I struggled with a past relationship that was hard for me to let go of. I went through a point where I blamed him very hard for hurting me and I declared very loudly, that I would never be in another relationship or trust another person. Although, I do struggle with trust still, I have moved past blaming someone else for the way I felt back then. I have accepted that the way things have turned out in my life, good or bad, were just steps that were already in order for my life.

When you allow things that have brought you down before to disrupt your life to the point that you can't let go, you are blocking your blessings. I am a big believer that God cannot give you what He wants to give you, if your arms are already full of baggage. If you are holding onto something, whether it is fear, regret, pain, anger or grudge, you are a prisoner of your own life. It is supposed to be the opposite way....you are suppose to control the way you handle things that come your way. Nobody wants to be a prisoner....but if you can't let go of things that you think have crippled you, then you are a prisoner.

The mind is such a powerful thing, but if we don't control our thinking, it can take us to places that we really don't want to be. We let fear consume us to the point that we won't try anything that can help us get ahead. If we get turned down for one job, we lag at going after another one. If we don't lose those couple of extra pounds as fast as we had planned, we give up and say that "we can't do it.'' Today is the day that you need to break the chain. Step out of the shackles that are on your feet. The chains and the shackles are not locked. You don't even need the keys to them.

-All is well in our world!


-Tameka R. Frost

*I CHERISH MY UNIFORM*

No matter what your uniform looks like...it's yours! Wear it with honor. Wear it with pride. Know that it is YOUR uniform. It was given to you. I heard on a popular television show one time, "Play the game with the uniform that you are issued." I agree with that. There is nothing you can do to change your uniform. Sure, it may be battered, it may have holes in it, it may have some dirt on it, but it still covers you.

I'm mighty.
I'm powerful.
I'm able.
I have a choice.

Your SKIN COLOR is your armor. Mine is brown. Strong. Powerful. Unique. It never changes. It covers me. It protects me. My uniform has had holes, but I have patched them up. My uniform has had bruises, but they have healed. My uniform has had scars, but the scars have healed, which shows signs of battles won. I wear my uniform with pride, dedication and honor. I am strong because of my uniform. I play the game of life with ease, because of my uniform. My uniform makes me proud; it makes me strong.

I'm bold.
I'm courage.
I'm peace.
I'm strength.

I am NOT my uniform, and it does NOT make me, but my uniform is MINE, and I will continue to wear it with dignity. I am NOT weak because of my uniform. My uniform is not strange, but it is unique. My uniform is tough, and will never let me down. I wash my uniform with gentle hands. I don't take it to the cleaners, because if I did, my uniform would be in someone else's hands, and nobody deserves to have MY UNIFORM in their hands. It's mine.

I cherish it.
I honor it.
I love it.
I embrace it.

My uniform is my skin color. My skin color is my uniform.

!!!!!!!!!!!! RAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I'm not mad everybody! LOL....I just know how it feels when you get VERY mad, so this idea came to mind. Just wanted to type it up, that's all. It's all about the different facets of writing. I'm not about to kill anyone!!!! Read, and enjoy."


I SEE RED! I CAN SEE THE WORLD EXPLODING! I'M MAD! MY EARS ARE BURNING! MY FACE IS RED!
The devil is smiling.

I HATE! I AM ANGERED! IT'S NOT FAIR! I SCREAM! I'M MURDER MAD!
The devil is laughing.

I FIND FAULT! I BLAME! I GRIT MY TEETH! I BANG MY FIST ON THE WALL!
The devil is happy.

I RUN AROUND IN ANGER! I FIGHT! I BALL MY FACE UP IN ANGER! I SCREAM!
The devil is pleased.

RAGE! RIGHT NOW, YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND!
The devil claps his hands.

I STOMP MY FEET! I SEE BLOODSHED! I DEMAND! I AM FRUSTRATED!
The devil slides closer to me.

I HEAR MY NAME IN OTHER COVERSATIONS! WHAT ARE THEY SAYING? I'M SUSPICIOUS, THEREFORE, I AM ANGERED!
The devil whispers, "You know they are saying bad things about you, right?"

I SEE PEOPLE LOOKING AT ME! WHY ARE THEY LOOKING!? THEY ARE JUDGING ME!
The devil whispers, "Hate them!"

I COULDN'T CARE LESS! I BREAK GLASS! I AM SO ENRAGED THAT I SCREAM SO MUCH THAT I TASTE BLOOD!
The devil hands me a towel and tells me to wipe the blood from my mouth, but tells me to keep screaming.

I KICK! I ROLL ON THE FLOOR IN ANGER! I GIVE UP! I WANT TO KILL!
The devil says, "Yes! There is the person I love! Keep it up! You are doing a wonderful job!"

Soft hands wrap around me and pull me up onto my feet. Soft hands wipe my tears away and a soft whisper says, "My child, I am here."
The devil is worried!

I calm. I stop crying. My anger goes away.
The devil screams...."NOOOOOO!!!!!!''

I smile. I forgive myself. I forgive others. I know that I am better than my temper.
The devil slumps his shoulders.

I believe. I love God. I trust God.
The devil disappears.


- Tameka R. Frost

HEYYYY! Watch Your Mouth!

I am sure we all have done it. We have all said things, and right after we say it, we say, “I shouldn’t have said that!” Well, if you thought that to yourself, then nine times out of ten, you probably shouldn’t have said it. I believe in “speaking something into existence.” Listen you all, it’s true. It may be a mere coincidence, but look to the great Red Foxx. What did he claim all of those years of doing Sanford and Son? We can all see it, He would claim that something gripped him with fear, he would rare back, grab his heart and say, “This is the big one! Elizabeth, I’m coming to join you honey!” Yes, it was funny at the time, but how did he end up dying when it was his time? He died of a heart attack.

A very ugly statement that I have heard people say to somebody is, “Kill yourself.” People, this is not cute. It’s not funny. It’s terrible. I have a family member that killed himself a couple of years back, so it grips me when I hear somebody say it. Now, check this out….I do not claim to know it all, or to be the best at these words, but trust me when I say that I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT. When we say, “I’m broke” over and over, what happens? We seem to stay broke! When we say that our husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc. are cheating on us, (whether we believe it or not, or whether we are saying that to cover up what we are doing) what happens sometimes? They end up getting caught cheating! There are so many people that curse so bad, it would make a sailor cover his ears! I even see curse words in status messages on Facebook! What’s that all about?! The thing that hurts my heart the most is to see the teenagers and young women curse more than grown men. Yep, I see that everyday on Facebook too.

Let’s start watching what we say, and what we feel in our hearts. If we know we don’t want it, don’t claim it. If you want it, then claim it. Don’t claim depression, claim happiness! Instead of saying, “My tooth hurts!” Say, “I will be glad when my tooth stops hurting!” If we are broke, let’s not say it like that. Let’s say, “My empty pockets are just making room for my blessing that I will receive!”

I love you!

-Miss Tameka R. Frost

YOUR MIND: Is it your friend, or your enemy?

Your mind can be your best friend, (happiness, no anger, no depression, no frustration) or it can be your worst enemy, (sadness, anger, depression, frustration). Realize that you control these emotions. A lot of people depend on medicine to control these emotions, and the only pill we all need to control them is the effort to do so. We are running around here as insomniacs that are so anxiety ridden, that we don't know what to do. A person told me the other day, that she takes some over the counter medicine called, "Slow Your Role" to help her sleep at night. We don't need these sleep aids. A lot of you take Five Hour Energy, and drink Red Bull after Red Bull for energy. We don't need all of this! Have you ever stopped to think about how your heart rate raises slightly after drinking those energy drinks?

****PLEASE REALIZE THAT YOU ARE TAKING MAN MADE AGENTS TO SUBSTITUTE YOUR BODY'S NATURAL FUNCTION****

All we need is peace of mind, that doesn't come at a price. It doesn't take much to sit in silence and quiet your mind. The first few times will be hard to make our minds quiet all of the constant chatter, but it can be done. When you can't control the constant mind chatter, that is when your mind has taken control of you, instead of vice versa. It is so much easier to be mad, frustrated, angry, bitter, and sad, as it is to be happy, easy going, enthusiastic, forgiving and carefree. It feels as if it takes more effort to be in positive mind; well, that is true. It does take more effort.

A lot of our problem is that we expect so much to be given to us, and we don't want to work for it. Sadly, you have to work for happiness; it won't just come to you effortlessly. If you are the type of person that seems to always be upset, ask yourself why. You might be surprised at how simple your "problems" and "issues" really are.

So start thinking today about what makes you so upset. What is that constant thing that keeps nagging you? Why are you wasting energy on thoughts that make you angry, frustrated, bitter, or sad? That energy can be used on "happy thoughts". Putting myself on blast: I am dealing with anger, frustration and bitterness. Every day is a constant fight to over-ride angry thoughts, or to not be so frustrated so easily, but I am a constant improvement. I sometimes, am surprised at how far I have come along. If you think I am snappy now, you should have known me a long time ago!

Keep thriving, don't stop trying, and just keep living. This life is yours; you deserve it, so act like you know it :)

.Psalm 27:1-3 MY TAKE ON IT. (A must read!)

The enemy doesn't care who they attack. The enemy is not always pretty, not always ugly, not always nice, not always mean. No matter what the enemy looks, acts, or thinks like, never think that you are excluded from them. When I say, enemy, I am not talking about a certain person. It can be a certain person, but it can also come in the form of your own confidence and self esteem, a place, or thing. You can go to a certain place more than one time in life, and everytime you arrive, bad things start to happen and don't stop until you leave. The thing could come in the form of, for example, drugs. Drugs can take over your mind, body and soul. They can even take over how you affect other people.

Focus on Psalm 27:3....."Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even though I am attacked, I will remain confident."

Always remain confident. If you know you are being attacked, remain confident. You just do your job at doing what is right, and let them set themselves up for a fall. Ask for God's help to remain confident. God wants us to be independent and strong, so try the confidence first without asking for help. Ask God to deal with the enemy accordingly. Ask Him with confidence. If it seems that your confidence is falling in the situation, pray. Ask for His help. Yes, sometimes remaining confident can be hard, but always remember, there is something that is permanently deep down inside of you that controls it, and you control that.

IMPORTANT NOTE TO REMEMBER: Always be who you are. Never try to live your life to satisfy others. If you think you are the be all that ends all in the world, then great! Other peoples' thoughts of you should never make you lose confidence in yourself. The enemy can smile in your face, and cut you with words as soon as you turn your back. The few seconds that it took for them to smile, it only takes half of that time for them to frown at you behind your back. You cannot allow that to affect you. *They talked about Jesus.*

It's no secret that people will try their best to cut you down and destroy you. It's how you let it affect you that really matters. Will you allow others to cut you down? Will you let other peoples' actions affect who you are as a person? If you know for a fact that someone dislikes you,will you continue to go around that person, live how they think you should live, or be who you are anyway and love them from a distance?

Now, if you are a person that "doesn't like" or judges someone else, especially on a regular basis, you might need to take some time to focus on who you are. I have always agreed that if you have to talk about or cut someone else down, then you are not happy with yourself. That's not a good thing. If you are truly happy with yourself, you will not find the time to cut someone else down, because you would be too busy delighting in who you are as a person and how great you are! If someone is confident in themselves, or walks around like they are the greatest thing alive, then compliment that person on their own confidence and work on your own. Don't be the enemy. Remember, if you are an enemy and you cut other people down, put yourself on the outside of Psalm 27:1-3, and realize that it is you that they are talking about when it says, "When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall." This includes doing things to other people behind their backs to try to make them fail, talking about someone behind their backs, or downgrading people to their faces. How does that make you feel?

Think about it.

-Tameka R. Frost

The Shackles On Your Feet Are Not Locked!

"Whatever our current circumstances may be,we must refuse to allow the events of our life to make us a prisoner." - Howard Thurman

I think that everyone that is within reading of this note has been through some things that have made us think twice about other situations that we may encounter. Sometimes we can have the chances of our lifetime, but, because of something that has happened to us in the past, we refuse to move forward.

I, myself, admit to struggling with trust in romantic relationships. Some of you know that I struggled with a past relationship that was hard for me to let go of. I went through a point where I blamed him very hard for hurting me and I declared very loudly, that I would never be in another relationship or trust another person. Although, I do struggle with trust still, I have moved past blaming someone else for the way I felt back then. I have accepted that the way things have turned out in my life, good or bad, were just steps that were already in order for my life.

When you allow things that have brought you down before to disrupt your life to the point that you can't let go, you are blocking your blessings. I am a big believer that God cannot give you what He wants to give you, if your arms are already full of baggage. If you are holding onto something, whether it is fear, regret, pain, anger or grudge, you are a prisoner of your own life. It is supposed to be the opposite way....you are suppose to control the way you handle things that come your way. Nobody wants to be a prisoner....but if you can't let go of things that you think have crippled you, then you are a prisoner.

The mind is such a powerful thing, but if we don't control our thinking, it can take us to places that we really don't want to be. We let fear consume us to the point that we won't try anything that can help us get ahead. If we get turned down for one job, we lag at going after another one. If we don't lose those couple of extra pounds as fast as we had planned, we give up and say that "we can't do it.'' Today is the day that you need to break the chain. Step out of the shackles that are on your feet. The chains and the shackles are not locked. You don't even need the keys to them.

-All is well in our world!

-Miss Tameka R. Frost

Do You Have Enemies? CONGRATULATIONS!

1 Chronicles 14:11\

"So David and his men went up to Baal Perazim, and there he defeated them. He said, "As waters break out, God has broken out against my enemies by my hand."

If you have never had enemies, CONGRATULATIONS! If you have never had someone that really didn't want you to succeed or get ahead of them, even if you didn't know about it, you are a rare breed. Unfortunately, some of us have people in our lives that we encounter that are jealous of us, and that inwardly, don't want us to succeed. They will smile and say, "Congratulations!", but will be seething at your success inside. Jealousy is a sin, and be thankful if you do not have a jealous bone in your body.

Isn't it terrible that there are some people that will stop at nothing to keep you from getting ahead? People can lie on you, cheat on you, talk about you behind your back, steal from you, hurt you (physically or mentally), say words to you that they know will hurt you, etc. Yes, it is terrible, and there are two major ways to rise against them....1) Pray for them, 2) Leave it up to God.
"The battle is not yours, it's the Lord's." It's a guarantee: the results are much better, and can be more satisfying to you if you let Him handle it for you. Confronting someone about damaging your feelings with words, or doing something to you behind your back, whether it's talking about you, or doing something that will keep you from getting ahead, has a major ability to make the problem worse, and make the person even more of an enemy than they were in the beginning. Now, please don't take this as me saying that you should not express your feelings. There are certain situations where your confrontation is required. For example, if someone says something to you that hurts your feelings, and they didn't mean any harm, that situation may require you saying something to that person to let them know that what they said affected you. Now, if someone does something behind your back to destroy you, you can say something if you must let them know that you know, but let God take care of the situation instead of you trying to "get even".

I, personally, do not like to argue with anyone. I also, don't take much laughter in seeing anyone else fail, but if I know someone has done something to me, or said something about me, I kindly walk away from the situation. I have seen many people fail at trying to cause my destruction.


So, be careful at what you do to other people. If you do something to someone that you know is wrong, remember, that person could be asking God to take care of you for them! Let God take care of people that do things to you that you don't deserve; it will be ok. Yes, it will be hard, but trust me; letting God take care of these kind of issues will be better than you taking care of the problem yourself, and causing an even bigger problem.

-All is well in our world!

-Miss Tameka R. Frost

The Obvious Guardian Angel

I have always believed that God spoke to me. I have questioned whether it was God that was speaking to me, or just life happening, in so many situations. It kind of scared me at times, because I wondered if it meant that I was Athiest, because I didn't know; because it was just so hard to determine whether it was Him speaking to me, or not.

I was in confusion about this, until I met Miss Arma.

My life was so full of ups and downs! Confusion, anger, despair, discouragement, Weariness, etc. If anything bad was possible to happen to anybody, it happened to me! If workers were reparing a road, I would definitely fall in the hole! If an umbrella was to break in a rain storm, it would definitely be mine! If a heart was to be broken, it was definitely mine!

I had given up on so many things. A friend of mine came to me one day and said, "Girl, you just need to ask God for forgiveness on allowing yourself to continue to be stressed out, and ask Him for a closer relationship with your Guardian Angel." I laughed so loud, that it made the people across the street look to see what was so funny. I told my friend thanks for the advice, but I couldn't see myself asking for help from a Guardian Angel, which is definitely somebody that I couldn't see. I was bent on if I can't see you, I'm not talking to you! Point blank!!

Two weeks later after that conversation with my friend, she and I were assigned to complete some work at Baptist Memorial Hospital. It really gave me the creeps because that is the place my grandmother passed away. I had been there for a whole week on this one day, and I realized that every time I passed by room 222, the old, grey haired lady would smile and wave at me. The first two days, I didn't wave back, because I just took it that she was a crazy old lady. Her smile was so inviting though, that by the third day, I started smiling back at her. One day, she waved me inside the room and asked me if I could come and talk to her. I stopped just inside the room and told her that I really didn't have time, because I had some work to do. She picked up a dozen roses from her desk that sat beside her bed and told me to come and get one, and I could be on my way. I went in the room and took the rose from her, and began to walk away.
The old lady started laughing loud! I turned around and asked her what was so funny. She looked at me straight in the eye, and told me that even though I got a rose from a complete stranger to enjoy for myself, I never took the time to look at it, or most importantly smell it.
I said, "Ma'am, it's only a rose. Big deal!"
She looked at me and said, "Yes, it is just a rose. But the big deal is that it is a rose that you have never seen before. Look at it."
I took a deep breath because she was beginning to get on my nerves, and looked down at the rose. To my absolute surprise, it was a rose that had one pink petal on it! I had never in my life seen such a thing!

The next day, I stopped in the room to talk to Miss Arma. She gave me pointers on how to get through this hell hole called life. She told me that if I just stopped to smell the roses, I would make it.

The next two weeks were great talking to Miss Arma. I told her how my grandmother had been the love of my life, and that she passed right there in that hospital, on the third floor. Miss Arma, and my assigned job was on the second floor. I told her how I refused to go to the third floor, because that is where my grandmother had passed. We had developed such a strong bond. I never asked why she was in the hospital. I just let her enjoy my company as I was enjoying hers. The strangest thing was that I had been talking to Miss Arma, and the same roses that she had on her desk never died!

She told me that no matter what I went through in life, to always have faith, and to always believe in spirits, and God and Guardian Angels, because you could be talking to one, and not even know it! She pointed out the obvious about me; that I never stopped to enjoy life, instead, I just focused on everything that did, or could go wrong in my life. I asked her if she had a Guardian Angel, and she said that everybody does. She told me that my Guardian Angel was with me at all times, whether I knew it or not. She said, "I hate to see such a young, talented woman such as yourself, never take the time out to enjoy life. It's always work work work!"
In her strained voice, she said, "Honey, when you die, work is going to still be there, and you will be gone."

My third and final week came for my job at the hospital. On my last day, I went in to talk to Miss Arma but the room had been fixed up for the next patient to arrive. I looked all around for her, and the roses, but they were gone. I went down to the first floor, and asked the receptionist where the patient went in room 222. She told me that that room hadn't been occupied in a whole year due to floor repairs that were set to begin in that room, and it couldn't be occupied because of estimate issues.

I continued to argue with her about it, and she said, "Look, I will show you." She pulled up the screen on the computer and showed me that the last patient that had occupied that room was Mrs. Alma Frost...... My grandmother.

FREEWRITING JIBBER JABBER

This is me. You have to take all of me, or nothing at all. You can't break me down and just take parts like an old Chevy. My heart is as strong as a brick, and my love flows as smooth as a river. I dance to the sound of my own music! Yes, only music I can hear.

When I love, I love deep. So if you come at me, you better be ready. If you are blessed enough to be the receiver of my love, my heart, my passion, you better know what you are doing. If you don't, stay away. I'm a WOMAN. I have things to do.

My voice sings like a songbird, and my touch is like gold. My steps in my life are in order, and my word is my bond. I am a train that is coming to your town. It is up to you if you will get on or not. If you don't, I will leave you. Simple as that! No, I am not typing this to be a poem; this is just coming at you straight, no chaser! I ain't gone mess around with yall! I'm a WOMAN, and I got things to do.

I have had disappointments, some that I still think about from time to time, but the "go gettem'' attitude that I possess has helped me to move on from situations that don't even deserve my thoughts! Yes, my heart has been broken, but the fabulous thing about MY heart, is that I don't need any pins, needles, or a sewing kit to bond it back together. It does it on it's own! I don't have time to fix heartache, because I'm a WOMAN, I have more important things to do.

When you see me walking down the street...MOVE! I am a woman on a mission! I have things to do. I have dreams to go get and goals to obtain. No, I am not perfect to you, but in my eyes, there is no other! Whether you like me or not, I am still going to be awesome! I love me, God loves me.....who else should matter?

I am a WOMAN, that can admit to my past past bad decisions, and admit that I have allowed hurt, but you know what? Although you see the bruises, you better believe that they are healed! I see them as battle scars, that reminds me of where I have been! The road is long, dark, cloudy, and sometimes questionable, but who is afraid? You may be, my friend, but me...no. I'm not. I have things to do, so get out of my way! I'm a WOMAN, and I have things to do.

I love the WOMAN that I have been, and the WOMAN that I am now....flaws and all. This is my space, enter it if you dare! I protect myself with the utmost respect, and I stand guard at my own front door! No pit bull, guard or alarm is going to protect me any more than I can. I won't allow anything to affect me, because I am a WOMAN, and I have things to do.

If you see a WOMAN walking down the street, with her purse on her shoulders, a sway in her hips, and a serious look on her face, just take time to know that she is a WOMAN, MOVE OUT OF HER WAY, because she has things to do.

Step on a crack, and break your back? Nope. I don't believe in that. Try NOT to reach your goals and break your life, yeah...that's more like it. You got things to do!

Although this writing may seem just like jibber jabber to some, there is someone out there that is going to feel every word of this.

-Miss Tameka R. Frost

WOMAN!

Do you recognize your power? Do you understand your strength? Do you see that you possess might?

Woman. When you walk, the whole earth stands still. When you smile, the rivers flow backwards. When you put your foot down to not accept trouble, anguish, depression, hurt, or anger, the ocean trembles. Woman, when you stomp, the world shivers!

Woman. You just don’t get it. You just don’t understand. You just don’t see it. You allow pain. You allow weeping. You allow hurt. Woman, STOP IT! Woman, you are it. You are the earth. You are the sun, the moon and the stars.

Woman. You have the ability to give life! Look at you, your body is equipped to give life to another human being!

Woman. You possess the power to turn YOUR whole world around! Woman, why do you hide from it? What is the “it” that I am talking about? I am talking about the STRENGTH that you were born with. I am talking about the MIGHT that you possess. So, you don’t think you have MIGHT? Take this second to ball up your fist. Do you see that? You have a fist, therefore you have MIGHT!

Woman. You are built like a well oiled machine! You are built to be appealing to the eye! Woman, cherish your body! It is your temple!

Woman. Stomp! Do not tread softly.

Woman. Talk loud and clear. Do not whisper.

Woman. Smile. Don’t frown.

Woman. Lift your head! Do not bow it.

Woman. Do not call yourself a bitch. You have two legs, and not four.

Woman. Do not let a man call you a bitch. That is disrespect. You are to be respected. If you allow this, you are disrespecting yourself.

Woman. Why do you allow depression? For every tear that you lose, that is another second wasted that could have been used to do something productive to get ahead!

Woman. Why are you still hurt by him leaving you? He is gone. That’s ok! You still have you. Nine times out of ten, he will want you back. If not, you have to love YOURSELF enough to realize that although he is gone, YOU are still there.

Woman. You just don’t realize who YOU are. You just don’t recognize your IMPORTANCE. You just don’t feel your MIGHT.

Woman. You are just like the butterfly that was locked in the jar. The butterfly tried desperately to get out of the jar. After a long, struggling hour of trying to get out, it gave up and settled at the bottom of the jar. After the top was lifted off for the butterfly to go free, it remained at the bottom. It didn’t realize that it had the ability to free itself.

Woman. We have young girls out here that don’t have a clue, but think they know it all. Woman, they see everything that you do, and they want to be like you. What are you letting them see?

Woman. Why do you hate her? She is your sister. Why are you jealous of her? If you don’t have the things that she has, you have to ability to get it, or to get better.

Woman. Look at how you have bounced back from so many situations! What makes you think you can’t make it out of this one? Or, why are you afraid of what tomorrow may bring?

Woman. Understand that without you, there is no earth! Nothing or nobody would live! Now, do you see your role? Woman, you have much work to do, so get to it!


Woman. You are WOMAN.

-Tameka R. Frost

The Screaming Room

THE SCREAMING ROOM.....

This room is dark, I can't see where I am going. I turn to the left and I bump clumsily into the wall. I reach up, the wall is tall. I can't go out of this room this way. I turn to the right and bump even more clumsily into another wall. I reach up. The wall is too tall. I can't go out this way. I try to back up. I can't move. The wall is too tall ! How in the world did I get into this place? All of a sudden, I was just here. I begin to panic. I begin to breathe hard. Where is my calm? This is definitely not a comfortable situation. It's dark, cold, confusing, and it even makes me a little bit angry, because I am so confined to this small area. How the hell do I get out of here?

All of a sudden, a bright light came on. There is a sign in front of me that says "This is the Screaming Room. This is the place where you let it all out. Do it, but you are at your own risk for what you learn about yourself."

As soon as I got to the last word, the lights went back off. The lights went off with such a suddenness that it almost took my breath away. I ended up on my knees. I dropped down uncontrollably. I began to think about all of my past and current hurts. About how I feel not "pretty enough''. About how friends come and go. About the struggles that seemed to be unnecessary. About how things for me seem to be outstandingly hard, but seem to be a breeze for other people. About how lonely I always feel. Why can't I get him to see who I am on the inside and be happy for what he has in me? I slowly begin to cry. I just can't take it no more. I'm ugly, I'm hurt, I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE!!!! I HATE MYSELF!!!! NOBODY LOVES ME!!!! WHY THE HELL AM I HERE!!!!! WHY THE HELL WAS I EVEN BORN!!!! WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO BE!!!! GOD TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!!!!! I instantly began screaming. The more and more I screamed, the louder and louder I got! The more and more I felt anger, the louder and louder I got. The more hurt I felt in my heart, the louder and louder I got. I never knew I could scream this loud. Tears rushed down my face. I began to taste blood in my mouth from all of the strain, but that's okay. This has to come out. I AM SICK OF LIVING!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT NO MORE! I WANT TO DIE!!!!!

I jumped up to my feet! This room is small, but this has to come out! I begin swinging my fist with all of my might. All of the people that have hurt me in the past began to appear in front of me. I kept screaming and swinging like a wild woman, but that's okay, this has to come out. I began to shout to the most current heartbreaker in my life. It was just like he was right there in my face. I could see him clear as day. "What is wrong with you? Why can't you see me for who I am? Why can't you realize that I love you with all of my heart? I am tired of thinking its something wrong with me, its not me nigga it's you !!!!!!!" That felt ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. I kept screaming. I kept slapping him in his face to try to wake his ass up so he can see me for me. So he can love me with all of his heart....that is all I wanted. As more and more people that have hurt me began to appear, the harder and harder I fought, kicked and scratched at their faces, and the louder and louder I screamed. I felt crazy for doing this, but that's okay.....It was what I needed. I began to run.

Before I knew it, I was running like I was an Olympic champion. I slowly began to stop and I began to see light. ------I wasn't in the dark room anymore. I had just started running and now I am not in the room. How did that happen? What had happened? The light was almost too bright now, but I kept running. I suddenly didn't have the urge to cry and scream anymore. I realized that the way to get out of the room was easy the whole time, but I just wasn't ambitious enough about myself to find the way out. As I was running, I ran right up to a mirror. Where the mirror came from, I don't have a clue. I stopped at the mirror and couldn't believe what I saw. My face was bright and had no signs at all of crying. My makeup was flawless and my hair was long and straight , hanging down my back just as I like it. My clothes were very neat. I was happy with who I saw.

I am forever thankful for the Screaming Room. Where is this room you ask?...... Its in my heart and my mind. I'm not scared to enter the screaming room.....anymore

As I Walk By...

Excuse me brother, but can you step aside as I walk by? Please give me room, because these hips will knock you down as they swing from side to side.

As I walk by, try not to become mesmerized by the scent of my body’s natural smell, because it is ever so sweet. Try not to let your mind wonder, and wonder and wonder, at the sweet little things that you want to say to me.

Try not to get turned on by the swing of my hips, or the sound of my stilettos, as they click clatter on the ground. As I walk by, try to get a good look at me, because not too many like me come around.

As I walk by, don’t get too fascinated by the swing of my hair, or the twinkle in my eye. Don’t get too excited by the glistening of my lips, my brother, as I walk by.

My brother, don’t get intimidated by my attitude, and confidence that I have about my self. I carry confidence as if I have that Donald Trump kind of wealth.

As I walk by, my brother, don’t forget to smile. There is something gentle, kind, and warm in a man’s smile that we like to see every once in a while.

As I walk by, my brother, please realize that I am a woman on a mission. You just might notice that I am the woman that your life is missing.

As I walk by, my brother, try not to be stunned by the flawlessness of my skin, and the twinkle of the diamonds in my ears. Realize, my brother, I’m a strong woman, and it shows, even through my tears.

Realize, my brother, as I walk, the strength of my legs as they carry my stature, which seem to be effortlessly. Realize my brother, as I walk by, my space should be given to me.

-Miss Tameka R. Frost