Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Is it me, or are men acting more and more like nagging, spoiled women?

Picture it: A lady is sitting alone at a bar. An extra FINE, tall, well groomed man comes in. He approaches the lady, and they fall into a deep conversation. They find out that they have several similar interests. He's interested in her, she's interested in him. They begin to date. Everything is going great.....until.....he needs to be pampered, burped and patted like a newborn baby!

When the hell did all this happen?

I have been single for a while now, with the occasional dating from time to time when someone sparks my interest....which isn't often. When I begin to get close to them, I realize that they are brats! Adult brats that require a lot of attention!

There was *********************. (all names have been hidden to protect the guilty.) Now, ******************* seemed to have potential. Good looking, well groomed, smelled good, and was older than I, which my mom told me a long time ago that I needed to date someone older than me, because the guys my age just weren't "ready". Although that's true, YOU GOT ANY OTHER BRIGHT IDEAS...MOM? Seeing that you got married BEFORE your only child and all....
Anyway, ****************** and I had some good conversations with him, until I found out that he had a cuddle fetish. I used to love cuddling, until I got used to not getting it when I wanted from guys that I dated. Now, I cringe at the thought of laying on somebody's check while we watch movies. Plus, I'm never comfortable in that position anyway. Yes, I'm telling the truth...But *********************always wanted to lay around on me, kiss me in public, WITH TONGUE, (ugh!) and me to rub my fingers in his hair as he laid in my lap. Now, I told *******************that I had an issue with cuddling in the beginning, but he was flat out determined to change me. Then, he started throwing hissy fits when I just refused to cuddle! There were times when I would, just to get him to shut up. I honestly believe I was trying to force myself to like him, because he seemed to be everything I needed. So, I got tired of his bitching and moaning, and let him go.

*I don't have a real problem with cuddling. It just has to be with someone that I truly like, and it can't be FORCED on me. Now, I know how guys feel when they are being forced into marriage!*

There was &&&&&&&&&&&. He was ok, but I knew he wouldn't be able to hang from the beginning, but I was bored, so I let him stay for a while. When we got closer, he started having all kind of issues with what other guys were saying on my Facebook wall, what they were saying on my pictures, etc. Somebody could come through and put on my wall, "Hey girl! Long time no hear from! Looking good! I hope everything is going great with you." He would swear this dude wanted to dig me out of my draws! I blocked him off so he couldn't see anything anybody posted on my wall. He eventually figured that out, and started having issues with that. Yep, if you know me, you already know what came next.......YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK! GOODBYE!

I see it from men that approach me that I'm not interested in: "I can't have your number!?! Oh you must be a dike."

To men that I decide to date: Guy: "Why didn't you call me back like you said you would? I was waiting on you. (pouting and sniffling)
Me: "Because I told you that TWO MINUTES ago!"

To the ex boyfriend: "Angela gave me the attention I NEEDED, so I left you for her back in the day, but ummmmm.....I was wondering if you could give me a second chance?"

I have worked with men at jobs that seem to continuously bitch and moan about stuff that doesn't even really mean anything. If something doesn't go their way, or how they think it should go, everybody has to hear serious whining, complaining and nagging. (Have you ever really listened to a pack of guys having a conversation about something that doesn't seem fair? OMG! IT'S HILARIOUS......and annoying.)

Men are beginning to gossip more and more too. The normal "Barbershop Talk" has been common for years and years to come. One thing I can admit though; when men gossip, that talk stays inside the barbershop. When women come out of the beauty salon, they are on their cell phones passing on the information before they even get their second foot out of the door! I knew a few that texts people overheard information while they are sitting in the beauty salon chair! (if this one bit you in the butt, my bad.)

Men constantly complain about women being bitchy and naggy, but hell, it seems to me like the roles have switched drastically. More women, including me, are getting tired of hearing the bitching, moaning and nagging from men, and men are doing a lot more bitching, moaning, and nagging. I had been thinking about this subject anyway, but it was just funny to see some women talking about it on Facebook and Twitter, AND to overhear some women talking about it randomly in Wal Mart!
Something that is really funny to me is that when I call them out about bitching and moaning, they have the same excuse that women have. "IF I DON'T YELL AND THROW A FIT, YOU WON'T HEAR ME!" That!!!!!! And God forbid I just come out and tell them that they are acting like a woman! I would have to take cover!

When I bring up the subject about women wanting to be pampered and taken care of, that opens up a huge argument with the fellas! Men actually comment and say, "Women aren't all that special! Men want to be pampered too!" WTF? I have asked guys to massage my back before, and they will come right back and say, "What do I get in return?" One time, I put up a glorious status about how special women are. A guy actually got on there and commented, "Damn! When are you going to say something about us guys? WE want some attention too!"

I wasn't going to bring this up out of the personal concern that it may step on somebody's toes, but oh well. They should have been equipped with steel toed shoes before they attempted to read a blog that I wrote. Anyway, I feel that spoiled men do not just appear magically. I think the majority of them come from being spoiled by their mothers. The saying that "a lot of men look for women that are like their mothers" is a serious, but deadly truth. A lot of men won't marry a woman unless she is willing to do absolutely everything for him without him having to lift a finger. I heard a story about a guy who still had his mother doing his laundry and he was in his 30's!

Then there are the ones that say, "My mom used to do it for my daddy all the time, so why can't you?"

These are the ones that sat back and watched their mothers break her back to keep the household together...... alone. She was expected to do EVERYTHING and BET' NOT give no attitude about it. She would go to work, come home, tired, and still have to to cook, clean, fix his plate and the kids plates before she sat down to eat. Then, when daddy wants more food on HIS plate, she would stop eating her food to put more food on his plate. Then, she would clean the table, wash the dishes, put the kids to bed, wash clothes, then have sex with daddy after he is done sitting on his ass watching sports while she does the cleaning. Then, she would only have a couple of hours before she gets up for work and to do it all over again. Oh, and not to even mention that she says, "YES, HONEY" to everything that daddy wants and says.

Then, there are the ones that were spoiled by women that were there before you. These guys are the ones that are used to women laying down their coats for them so they can walk over water puddles. It only takes one of them though! A man can get with a woman like that, and expect every single woman after her to be the same way. I know women are to be giving in relationships and marriages; let me clear that up before somebody comments about that, but the line has to be drawn somewhere! A GROWN ASS MAN SHOULD NEVER STOMP, KICK, FOLD HIS ARMS, OR POUT! I'm just saying.

Chivalry is all fudged up too. (Definitely my next blog! Stay tuned~) I have seen a couple of posts on Facebook where men and women have actually gone at it about who is supposed to pay the bill when one is asked out on a date. SMDH! What the hell happened to gentlemen that asked first and just WANTED to show the lady a good time and foot the bill? Guess they are pretty much extinct. #AndI'mThrough


  1. I agree with what you're saying 99%! But, as a man, I want to play devil's advocate (I've been told I'm good at that).

    I think today's generation of 20-somethings (and some early 30-somethings) don't view women the way a guy like myself (39 y/o) does. I was taught that women are to be spoiled. I don't mean in a throw-your-money-at-them way, but taken care of when it comes to their needs and reasonable wants. That includes opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc. Even if she isn't your woman, she's still someone's mother, daughter, sister, etc. and deserves respect. Your only reward is her smile and/or a thank you. That's all you should expect. You don't do it because you think women are weaker (which is what someone woman accused me of thinking when I held the door for her). You do it because that's what men are supposed to do. It's as simple as that. Just like dogs barking, it should be natural.

    I was taught to protect female loved ones at all costs. If you touch my mom, sister, grandmother or whoever, then I have to "move some furniture" with you. Not that "Big Momma" can't throw down herself, but as a man, it's my job.

    Lastly, and most importantly, I was taught to respect them. That doesn't require an explanation.

    Now, none of those life lessons I received mean that I'm to ever look down upon a woman or claim myself superior. It's only for me to know my role and responsibility in the world as a man. Some people think my view is outdated. I tend to disagree.

    Now, fast forward to 2011 where more women are single mothers, "independent" and claiming "I don't need a man." To the guy not raised with man training (or as you mentioned, being spoiled by his single mom), he looks at ladies as a provider. After all, she's independent, right? She really doesn't need a man, so it's not like he has to spoil her, right? She can get what she wants on her own, including the door.

    So, I think everything you mentioned is true. But, I want to add in that women (especially our sistas) "don't need men" and today's man simply obliges by that request. Wrong? Yes. Reality? I think so.

    So, since the guy thinks since he's not needed, then your request for something is a favor instead of his obligation. And favors are to be returned.

    Twisted, huh? Great post and I'm sorry for the essay here. BTW, slammin' profile pic.

  2. I absolutely love your comment! I am going to copy and paste it to another site! Many people should read it; men and women!

  3. Oh, and thank you for the compliment on the picture. I recently took that. Your comment was so outstanding that I forgot to say thank you. LOL!