Saturday, February 19, 2011

Up Again, and Bored in North Mississippi. *sigh*

A lot of my readers know that I talk a lot about moving away. I always picture myself on the sands of Malibu, California, or in the busy streets of Atlanta, Georgia. A lot may wonder why I haven't left yet; well, that's simple: my lease agreement! I'm not the one to break a lease agreement, no matter how bad the situation is. I think I have made up my mind to join the streets of Atlanta at the end of this year though. I don't think I'm ready for California yet. I'm so used to growing up in a small country town, so I'm sure the bright city lights will scare me like a little lost cat, and I will shake like a little lost puppy while I hide in a corner or something, but after the millions of panic attacks, sweat outbreaks and anxiety, I should be fine!

I know I can't just make up my mind to leave and that be it. No, it's going to take a plan. A BIG plan. Sure, I have moved away before and had no clue at all what I was going to do when I got to my destination. As a matter of fact, I can remember moving to Michigan to join my aunt's family. On my way to Michigan on the Amtrak, I don't even think I worried at all about what I was going to do when I got there. I just lived my life in a way when I would take things one day at a time. I'm trying to get my life back into that position. After suffering from so much anxiety and stress on the job, all I do is worry, even when I'm not at work, but I will do this moving thing differently. I'm off work today and tomorrow, so maybe I can sit around the house and just think of some different things that can be done when I get there. i.e., the type of job I will look for, I will get information on the different apartment communities, night life, etc. I'm not ashamed to say that a huge part of why I want to move away is because of night life. I am so tired of being bored around here. There is absolutely nothing to do around here but go to the clubs. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't mind going to a nice club every now and then, but the key word is "Nice".

Even if there was a lot to do around here, then I would have to find women with similar interests that wouldn't mind going out to have a drink and some fun! Women in this area aren't interested in learning anything new, or seeing anything different. I need to be around a whole different breed.
Now, in no way, shape, or form am I putting down the town where I grew up, and I will even go so far as to say that I'm not putting down the little town I live in now, but I will say that this little area is not for me. I feel like an ant stuck in a jar trying to find a way out. Life has got to be better than this.

I have been so bored and disgusted with this area lately that I have been lashing out on people around me. I know it's not a good thing, but sometimes I can't help it. It's time for a change, it's time for a change, it's time for a CHANGE!

Yikes! It's even kind of scary to even think about it right now, you know, moving to a bigger city, seeing way more people that are into going out and having fun, seeing new things, and learning new ways to do things, but something deep down tells me that I will manage!

1 comment:

  1. I wish you luck with where ever you end up. Good luck finding women to hang with on your level when you arrive. I think the hardest thing to do is find someone who shares the same views. There are some stupid people in the world and I've latched on to old friends because I cringe at thinking about making new ones. I make female friends easily, but guy friends are difficult. I mean, I can sit and talk sports and women with anyone, but since I don't do clubs or call women "hoes," I don't fit in with some folks.