Monday, February 21, 2011

Don't Dump Everybody Else When You Start Dating

I have seen this happen too many times before, and I'm not saying that I'm so perfect to the point that I have never done it. I mean, don't get me wrong....I AM perfect, but hey, I only get better! (tee hee hee)

Anyway, all jokes aside, I have seen too many women that get into relationships and seem to forget that they had a life before "he" came along. The fact that women STILL do this actually JUST slapped me in the face a couple of days ago. I have an associate that started dating a guy that she had already voiced that she wasn't completely happy with anyway, but she is deciding to stick it out with him. *insert confused faced here.* We had made plans to attend a social event that, at one time, we never missed! The event happens once a month, and we were always so excited about it that we almost took days off work to attend!

Anyway, she backed out, because it was his birthday. Now, don't get me wrong; her wanting to spend time with her "boo" on his birthday is an absolutely wonderful thing, and if I was all out serious about someone, I'm sure I would do the same thing, but we had already made plans to do attend the event! Since she has been seeing this guy, I hardly ever talk to her at all! She doesn't really call, and when I attempt to make plans to go out and have some girl talk, she never can go.

So of course you are reading this saying, "Ok, well maybe you need to get a man and stop hatin' on your friend because she has one.", or, perhaps you are saying that I'm the bitter single friend that every woman should avoid when she is in a relationship.
Well, I'm here to tell you that both of those statements are wrong. All I'm saying is to never put all of your time and effort in a relationship from the jump. You should always remember that "relationships" are always great in the beginning, but once you start to really know each other, that's when you get tired of the other person and you are ready to start back spending time with the ones that you left behind to give all your time to the "buggaboo".

A woman should NEVER put all of her time in with a man from the get go, and not have time for herself. That leaves so much room for her to lose herself in the guy and totally give up on what makes her happy. The same people that were there for your before "he" came along, won't be so delighted to be there for you when "he" is gone.

It is always important to remember balance for all the people in your life. When a man sees that you are willing to give your everything, and your all for him, he will take it and run with it. He will know that he has you as a doormat, and won't feel bad when he begins to treat you as such. You will never catch a man canceling all of his plans with his "boys" to spend time with you. If he does, don't expect it to happen all the time. The oohs and ahhs of the new guy can leave you feeling so warm and fuzzy on the inside, but look at the truth: the warm and fuzzy feeling almost always go away! It never fails.


  1. Church! I've seen it happen a ton as well. I've had some of my boys have girlfriends who basically disown their families and friends to be around them. I understand puppy love, but it's rarely mutual. Ladies who do this and the relationship does not work out normally fall very hard back to the ground.

  2. I've been guilty of this in the past...but not now. As a matter of fact, I'm getting a little winded for trying to make time for everyone. It's well worth it though because I never want to be looked at as a sell-out!

  3. And I have to admit my guilt as well; I have also done this, but when I did it, I lost friends, so that is what taught me the lesson. I just feel that it's a problem that should be recognized and corrected, unless that person is not worried about friends and family.