Saturday, February 26, 2011

"Tameka! When are you getting married?"

So, I ran into a classmate today. I walked over and talked to her, hugged, and said "Heeeey girl!" and all that. Of course we got into the "Where you living now?", and the "How many kids do you have?" Yadda, yadda, and all that jazz. Then, it was time for her to ask me those dreaded questions. *bleh*.

I went on to tell her that I'm STILL not married, and I STILL don't want any children. She said what everybody else always says,......"Aw come on girl! You have to have a least ONE!" Ok, so, are these people saying that I need to go on and pop out a baby, even if I don't get married? As if "single motherdome" is not running rampant enough!
Anyway, I always get this exact same reaction from people. Even my mom tells me that she runs into people all the time that say, "Girl, Tameka hasn't given you a grand baby yet?" and she, of course, PROUDLY says, "NO!"

What is it about people that think that I'm SUPPOSED to be married along with a house full of hungry crumb snatchers? Of course I'm 33 years old now, and I have no thought in my mind that I will be having any babies anytime soon. Sorry to disappoint those that are sitting back anxiously awaiting the arrival of "Little Tameka", but it just ain't happnin' Cap'n!

Basically, there are no rules that say that a woman, or a man for the point of this case, has to be married and chasing kids at a certain age. I had actually started to think that maybe my mentality just hadn't caught up with everybody else, because "everybody else is doing it." I'm good though, because I'm just not ready. I take things at my own pace. When I was was once following the crowd, I did what the crowd did. This is something that I have to be glad that I don't follow the crowd for, because a lot of the people that I know have gone on to get married, and pop out all of these kids, gotten fat, and don't look happy at all. I know so many people that I graduated with that have already been married and divorced, and many women that are now left with children to care for on their own. Yeah, that's something I'm not looking forward to anytime soon. Thanks, but no thanks.

I have to be honest thought; there once was a time when I would almost run and hide when someone would look at me like I had committed a crime when I tell them that I am still not married, and still haven't had any children. I felt like I SHOULD be married. Here I am grown, and with no steady man in my life, and no kids to love and call my own. That's exactly the thoughts I had, until I started realizing, "HEY! ALL OF MY RELATIONSHIPS SUCK ANYWAY!", and I couldn't, and STILL can't imagine having children by any of the bumbs I dated! I have dodged SEVERAL hot, burning bullets! THANK YA!!! HAPPY DANCE TIME!!!

The point of this is to just live your life. I'm not in a rush to get married, push out any babies, or none of that. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Oh well! I will still live and be happy. I came in the world alone, and I don't mind riding the waves all the way to the end the same way.


  1. Girl I get the same look when I tell people I haven't seen in a while that I'm not married! What the hell? Just because we're in a certain age doesn't mean that we have to be on lock down with a man and have a room full of babies! That drives me nuts!

  2. Tameka, I think some women rush into relationships because they feel the pressure to be married with children. That mindset has been instilled in daughters since the early settlers. "Find yourself a husband and have some children, girl."

    Nonsense. Life isn't about trying to "beat the clock" and get married/pregnant by a certain age. It's all about timing. If the time is right, marriage will happen. If both spouses agree and the timing is right, babies will happen.

    If anything, you need to install that mindset into your divorced friends who are driving the minivans full of rug rats.