I have always believed that God spoke to me. I have questioned whether it was God that was speaking to me, or just life happening, in so many situations. It kind of scared me at times, because I wondered if it meant that I was Athiest, because I didn't know; because it was just so hard to determine whether it was Him speaking to me, or not.
I was in confusion about this, until I met Miss Arma.
My life was so full of ups and downs! Confusion, anger, despair, discouragement, Weariness, etc. If anything bad was possible to happen to anybody, it happened to me! If workers were reparing a road, I would definitely fall in the hole! If an umbrella was to break in a rain storm, it would definitely be mine! If a heart was to be broken, it was definitely mine!
I had given up on so many things. A friend of mine came to me one day and said, "Girl, you just need to ask God for forgiveness on allowing yourself to continue to be stressed out, and ask Him for a closer relationship with your Guardian Angel." I laughed so loud, that it made the people across the street look to see what was so funny. I told my friend thanks for the advice, but I couldn't see myself asking for help from a Guardian Angel, which is definitely somebody that I couldn't see. I was bent on if I can't see you, I'm not talking to you! Point blank!!
Two weeks later after that conversation with my friend, she and I were assigned to complete some work at Baptist Memorial Hospital. It really gave me the creeps because that is the place my grandmother passed away. I had been there for a whole week on this one day, and I realized that every time I passed by room 222, the old, grey haired lady would smile and wave at me. The first two days, I didn't wave back, because I just took it that she was a crazy old lady. Her smile was so inviting though, that by the third day, I started smiling back at her. One day, she waved me inside the room and asked me if I could come and talk to her. I stopped just inside the room and told her that I really didn't have time, because I had some work to do. She picked up a dozen roses from her desk that sat beside her bed and told me to come and get one, and I could be on my way. I went in the room and took the rose from her, and began to walk away.
The old lady started laughing loud! I turned around and asked her what was so funny. She looked at me straight in the eye, and told me that even though I got a rose from a complete stranger to enjoy for myself, I never took the time to look at it, or most importantly smell it.
I said, "Ma'am, it's only a rose. Big deal!"
She looked at me and said, "Yes, it is just a rose. But the big deal is that it is a rose that you have never seen before. Look at it."
I took a deep breath because she was beginning to get on my nerves, and looked down at the rose. To my absolute surprise, it was a rose that had one pink petal on it! I had never in my life seen such a thing!
The next day, I stopped in the room to talk to Miss Arma. She gave me pointers on how to get through this hell hole called life. She told me that if I just stopped to smell the roses, I would make it.
The next two weeks were great talking to Miss Arma. I told her how my grandmother had been the love of my life, and that she passed right there in that hospital, on the third floor. Miss Arma, and my assigned job was on the second floor. I told her how I refused to go to the third floor, because that is where my grandmother had passed. We had developed such a strong bond. I never asked why she was in the hospital. I just let her enjoy my company as I was enjoying hers. The strangest thing was that I had been talking to Miss Arma, and the same roses that she had on her desk never died!
She told me that no matter what I went through in life, to always have faith, and to always believe in spirits, and God and Guardian Angels, because you could be talking to one, and not even know it! She pointed out the obvious about me; that I never stopped to enjoy life, instead, I just focused on everything that did, or could go wrong in my life. I asked her if she had a Guardian Angel, and she said that everybody does. She told me that my Guardian Angel was with me at all times, whether I knew it or not. She said, "I hate to see such a young, talented woman such as yourself, never take the time out to enjoy life. It's always work work work!"
In her strained voice, she said, "Honey, when you die, work is going to still be there, and you will be gone."
My third and final week came for my job at the hospital. On my last day, I went in to talk to Miss Arma but the room had been fixed up for the next patient to arrive. I looked all around for her, and the roses, but they were gone. I went down to the first floor, and asked the receptionist where the patient went in room 222. She told me that that room hadn't been occupied in a whole year due to floor repairs that were set to begin in that room, and it couldn't be occupied because of estimate issues.
I continued to argue with her about it, and she said, "Look, I will show you." She pulled up the screen on the computer and showed me that the last patient that had occupied that room was Mrs. Alma Frost...... My grandmother.
- ► 2011 (28)
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